Do You Even Sarge, Bro?

I still remember when I first entered the seduction community about 6 years ago. At the time I wasn’t getting laid, and didn’t know how to. I was full at hope of what the community had to offer me. At the same time there was much doubt. Did it really work? Would I be successful with it? I remember reading that at most maybe 10% of people who start out in the seduction community actually end up having good levels of success with women. I wanted to know what separated the 10% from the 90% of failures. Now I know.

I’ve recently been easing my way back into cold approach after doing very little of it during much of last year (last year was the Year of Tinder for me), and none at the beginning of this year. I’m perfectly happy solo daygaming, but for nightgame I want wings. This is actually a prerequisite to some extent, as many clubs in London won’t let you in if you’re flying solo (“No single entries” they say). I have a few guys I go out with, but many of them go out irregularly these days. I want a regular wolf pack who goes out every Saturday.

Despite posting for wings / meetups several times on a London based forum, and being added to a whatsapp group with over 100 London based forum guys on there, I’m still yet to find a new wings. I’ve only met one guy. I get very few responses for postings. When I do actually swap numbers with guys they’re harder to get out on a sarge than it is to convert a girl’s number to a date. Either they have to get up early the next morning, or are off to a party on Saturday night, or ect…

It seems to me that for all the talk about seduction that goes on online on forums and the comment sections of blogs, very few people regularly sarge. Go to /r/seduction and look at the posts. From the content and topics discussed try and work out how many of the people posting there sarge consistently, or have even tried to do so. Many of the post are about social circle, online dates or escaping the dreaded ‘Friendzone’.

This is what it comes down to. The 90% of men who fail at seduction do so because they don’t ever sarge regularly. Yes there are some exceptions, like the guy on the RSD forums who did 1,000 cold approaches and only every got one BJ, but generally it’s just because guys don’t consistently cold approach. Every guy I’ve been out with who sticks with it for 1+ years of regular sarging has at least a decent amount of success with women. It’s the same with the gym. There is no secret. Guys who are consistent with their training and nutrition over a period of multiple years have good bodies. Guys that aren’t, don’t.

I know some people have other things going on in their life. Social circles. Careers. Hobbies. All these things are great, but part of success is prioritisation. If you want to excel in one area, you have to be willing to let other areas of your life decline. You only have so much time and mental energy each week, and so a decision to do one thing is often also an implicit decision not to do other things. If you want to get good with women you need to be willing to devote 10 hours a week to cold approach, for a whole year, minimum.

I hope to have my career goal for this year ticked of my list soon. If I achieve this my focus will start to shift back on to cold approach, primarily daygame. I will be successful in this endeavour. I know this because I will be employing my secret. That secret is consistency.

Yes, I sarge. What about you. Do you even sarge, bro?

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Rate These Girls Out of 10

The title says it all.

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The Utility Value of Knowledge

All of the people with whom I regularly associate in either my private, professional or ‘online’ life are firmly on the right hand side of the intelligence bell curve. Despite all of these people having roughly similar levels of intelligence, there is a marked difference in the level of objectively quantifiable success many of them have in certain areas of life, whether it be financial success or success with women. Since I myself only seem to experience average levels of success in my life, I often seek to determine what the difference is between the people I know who are successful and those who are not.

The answer actually came to me when thinking about conspiracy theorists. I’m sure you know they type, they are easily found on many forums online. They “know the truth” about what the government and elites are ‘really’ up to. Maybe they have large reserves of bitcoin, guns or food stashed away. What ever there particular theories, they seem pretty smug that they have some special, privileged knowledge that the average ‘sheeple’ do not. This makes them feel superior. Yet, despite this ‘special’ knowledge they are no better or worse off than the average person. The reason for this is simple. Their knowledge, whether real or imagined, has no utility.

I define the utility value of knowledge as the ability of a set of knowledge to have some form of quantifiable real world impact on your life outcomes. All knowledge that lacks such utility is effectively useless, and is at best interesting trivia.

When I realized this it immediately became obvious why there is such a difference in success levels between intelligent people. Whereas unsuccessful intelligent people seem to focus on obtaining knowledge just for the sake of it, successful people obtain knowledge as a means to an end. They have something they want to achieve, and as they take action they gain knowledge.

Intelligent people often have their intellect handicapped by the need to acquire knowledge and understanding, and to be ‘right’. They seek intellectual perfection over useful utility. This becomes very apparent in the software development profession. Many practitioners in this field are more concerned about their software being 100% correct and efficient. On the surface this may seem like a positive, but it’s not what the important people who pay them their salaries actually want from them. They want utility, in the form of software functionality that actually reduces costs or increases revenue. From the software developer’s point of view they’d rather spend 1000 man hours producing perfect software, over spending 100 man hours producing software that although imperfect (e.g. inefficient, has some minor bugs) generates the exact same revenue as the perfect software because it fulfils the business requirements adequately. They fail to care that the extra 900 man hours produces no utility. It’s hard to imagine such people ever becoming rich if they were to go into business for themselves.

There are many examples of people who are smug that they hold special knowledge, even though that knowledge does nothing to improve their lives. Some examples:

  • People on the manosphere who often discuss the red pill truths which allow for success with women, yet they never actually cold approach any women. They may know better than the average man, but don’t get laid more than the average man.
  • The game denialists. They pick holes in the theory of game, call it pseudo science, and ask for large scale, peer reviewed scientific studies using the scientific method that proves game works. They’re right that there are many flaws in the theory of game. They’re right that some of the evopsych stuff it’s based on is probably wrong. They’re right that game hasn’t been scientifically proven. Despite this game practitioners still get laid way more than them, so their being right on some counts has no utility.
  • Men who know all about nutrition (5 meals a day, 1g protein per lb of bodyweight) and will happily tell me my intermittent fasting is scientifically incorrect. Despite this knowledge they have, I still manage to drop fat faster than they do when I want to, and carry more muscle than them. This is because the knowledge that has the most utility when it comes to nutrition is this: a slightly imperfect diet that you stick to because it fits your lifestyle / eating preferences the best will show better results than a perfect diet that you keep breaking because it’s so tough to maintain.
  • People that seem to know all about business and investing, calling other people suckers for doing things differently, who despite this have an average income.

To many people this may seem obvious. It’s almost the theory vs practice thing, but slightly different. Yet, to me this was an important revelation. As I age I feel the clock ticking, and I am still very mediocre in most areas of my life. I fee like from reading the manosphere and ignoring the mainstream I have a body of valuable knowledge that most people do not. Despite this I look at the real world outcomes I have obtained comparative to my blue pill peers, and wonder what the knowledge has actually done for me. In some areas (sexual success) this knowledge has shown great utility as I have had objectively better outcomes than them. In other areas, I have got nothing from it. I work 9 to 5 in an office like them. I earn about the same money as them. I live in shitty little London flats like they do. I don’t want a life like theirs, or like mine is at the moment. I want something better. Something out of the ordinary. At the moment I don’t seem to be achieving this. It makes me feel I’m actioning the wrong knowledge, or spending my time the wrong way.

I need to make a major change in my life, but the path ahead is unclear.

My Game Todo List

Haven’t been actively sarging for the past 10 days due to having a Russian girl staying with me (lay report coming soon). Instead I’ve spent some time coming up with a todo list to help improve my game. This is important to stop me just continually doing the same things I’ve always done and in so doing get the same results. This todo list is based on the actions section on the after action reports I’ve been doing recently.

  • Come up with a strategy for ‘maybe’ girls in a club setting. This will include some ideas on conversational material to use as filler soon after first opening when they aren’t comfortable with isolation / escalation very early on. The aim is to have a way to hang on in there with these type of girls rather than just ejecting when they aren’t all over me from the start (‘yes’ girls), so I can try escalating again later.
  • Look into the availability of getting voice projection coaching somewhere in London.
  • Think about how to craft questions that are more open ended during daygame and dates, with the end goal being to lead girls towards subjects which are increasingly emotionally significant to them.
  • Get some voice recording equipment to record all daygame sets and possibly dates. I have heard some recordings of my daygame sets that my coach has made. They are very useful as you can instantly pick up on so many mistakes and see many possible improvements.
  • Create a plan for dates, using the date material from Dayame Mastery. Will focus on emotional progression and escalation, as well as how I portray myself on the date.
  • Think about how I can better maintain a good frame on the date. Work out ways to ‘lean back’ both physically and metaphorically so I can act a bit more like the prize. This will have to be reconciled with the need for me as the man to also take the date forward and escalate, but doing so in way which does not compromise my desired frame.

After Action Report 25/04/2015 (2)

Type: Nightgame sarge

Situation: Large meat market club, bit of a cockfest

Results: 8/9 sets opened, 1 kiss close

What went well:

  • Reasonable number of approaches given how much of a cockfest it was
  • Was confident in most of my approaches

What went badly:

  • One 2 set hooked, but it was a ‘maybe’ set. The girl didn’t give me huge IOIs but wasn’t disinterested either, so I bailed. These sets are hard in a cub in full swing because it’s loud and everyone is dancing. This makes it hard to just stand there chatting. Need to move things forward and get physical quickly, which probably won’t work on maybe girls. Need a strategy to handle this.
  • The girl I K closed got dragged off by her friend, and I didn’t go for it again when I saw her latter. Lacking persistence here. In the past I’d go back later, maybe multiple times until I managed to isolate some how and either got her home or her number. Thing is she was the least attractive girl I approached (only a 6) so I couldn’t really be bothered.
  • Got a fair few quick blow outs. I’m not sure if these are no girls or I need to be more full on RSD style in my approaches. This isn’t really my style, I don’t know how easily I could switch to that, it’s very frat boy. Would love to take an RSD bootcamp to find out, but it’s $2000.
  • Conversation skills could be better early in sets. A bit more teasing / push to spike attraction.
  • I really need to project my voice more in clubs.

Action points:

  • Work out how best to move ‘maybe’ sets forward. Will probably involve a bit of push to ramp up attraction, followed by giving her an IOI to make it clearer I’m hitting on her, the hope being that she either gives me a red light (I eject), and amber light (I take a step back and try again later, green light (escalate or isolate).
  • Come up with some better conversational material / routines to act as filler between attempts to move sets forward. This will help me hang in there with maybe sets for longer.
  • Decide if I actually want a girl or not, and if so pursue vigorously for the SNL, or settle with the number. If she’s a 6 I need to make a snap judgement on whether or not I want to fuck her, and run with it.
  • Look into voice projection coaching. I think someone on the LSS offers this. This is a great investment in myself which I think goes beyond just club game.

After Action Report 25/04/2015 (1)

Type: Daygame sarge

Situation: Oxford Street, baby!

Results: 4 sets opened, 1 number close

What went well:

  • Getting much better with eye contact on opening now. Almost to the point where they are so transfixed that when they tell me they have to go they almost have to tear themselves away.
  • Much more confident when I do open

What went badly:

  • Only opened 4 sets, could have been closer to 10 in the time I was out
  • Spoke too much in the first set where I number closed. She wasn’t much of a talker, and I wanted to get her to talk more to invest.
  • One of my opens was really weak as it was logistically awkward (happens sometimes of Oxford Street)
  • Getting into a full and flowing conversation in the vibing phase is sometimes hard for me, and I end up firing out questions. Need to learn to thread conversations better. Goes hand in hand with above.
  • Assumption stacking a bit weak

Action points:

  • Really need to open about twice as often. This is my long term sticking point.
  • Need to get better at skilfully extracting information and emotions from a girl and weaving a flowing conversation around these responses. May come up with some practice exercises.

A Comfortable Mediocrity

The human body always fights to maintain homoeostasis. This is a scientific term which means “stays the same”. For example when your body temperature rises, your veins vasodilate (widen) to allow heat to leave the body. This is an attempt to bring the body back to it’s preferred temperature. To stay the same.

The human psyche is the same. Your brain often seems to fight hard to maintain the current lifestyle to which you have become accustomed. In one way this is good, as it means you will fight tooth and nail to stop yourself sliding down life’s ladder. On the flip side of this, it also means that something deep inside of you will fight your attempts to make your life better. This seems counter-intuitive, but it actually makes good evolutionary sense. The logic is that if you are surviving with your current lifestyle, then why risk jeopardising it by making changes. It is in this way that our DNA often drives us to remain mediocre.

This is a problem that plagues me. I live in a first world country, in one of the most vibrant cities in the world, where I have an income that is around 50% above the mean. Last year I fucked over 20 girls, some of which were really quite attractive. Most of my needs within Maslow’s hierarchy are met with ease. And there in lies the rub. My lifestyle is mediocre by many western standards, and yet it’s comfortable enough that my subconscious will fight any changes that may put it in jeopardy.

My lifestyle feels quite mediocre to me. I even feel a little trapped in my chosen career. I yearn to join the ranks of the top few percent of men, who earn at least a few times the average income, fuck hot women, and enjoy a high degree of freedom in terms of where they go in the world and when.

The only way out is to trick my brain. Most people, myself included can be very apathetic when it comes to being motivated by success. What I do have going for me, like most people, is a very healthy, and motivating, fear of failure. So that’s the trick. I have to make my brain believe that by not doing the things I need to do to make it into that top few percent. I spend a lot of time mind fucking myself. I have to make myself believe my life is a pathetic failure, a mess. Here are some of the things I often dwell on to the point of unhappiness and fear in order to motivate myself:

  • I’ve cut off all internet dating, and I no longer hit on girls less attractive than the top quality of girls I’ve fucked in the past. It’s my previous best or better. The result of this is that I’m not regularly getting laid at the moment. I’m going on dates with attractive girls, and unable to benefit from being better looking than them, I’m getting rejected. This makes me feel bad. It was just today that the sense of fear of losing my ability to get laid really bubbled up to the surface. This is driving me on to study up on game. To right After Action Reports to analyse what’s going on in an attempt to get better.
  • I let every little thing I don’t like about my job expand in my mind until it makes me feel a searing rage at having to work in an office for other people. Day after my brain is slowly internalizing the fact I’d be better off working for myself, and it’s pushing me to do what’s needed to get there.
  • Every day I imagine one of two possible futures for my chosen career. Either going into management, seeing my earnings rise but hating every day of having to be an office bound people pleaser. The other option is staying purely technical but no longer being able to get hired in 5 years time, and seeing my salary stagnate. As with above this drives me towards my own business.
  • I imagine what life will be like when I’m older if I’m not wealthy. I’m not planning to get married, so at the moment my future would be just me in a shitty little studio apartment in the UK not getting laid as I’m past it. This drives me to want to move abroad, make a ton of cash, and regularly fuck hot hookers when I’m too old to pull.

If you’re having difficulty achieving what you want it may well be lack of motivation. Just remember that fear and unhappiness will motivate you more than the joy of having your wildest dreams come true.