The Utility Value of Knowledge

All of the people with whom I regularly associate in either my private, professional or ‘online’ life are firmly on the right hand side of the intelligence bell curve. Despite all of these people having roughly similar levels of intelligence, there is a marked difference in the level of objectively quantifiable success many of them have in certain areas of life, whether it be financial success or success with women. Since I myself only seem to experience average levels of success in my life, I often seek to determine what the difference is between the people I know who are successful and those who are not.

The answer actually came to me when thinking about conspiracy theorists. I’m sure you know they type, they are easily found on many forums online. They “know the truth” about what the government and elites are ‘really’ up to. Maybe they have large reserves of bitcoin, guns or food stashed away. What ever there particular theories, they seem pretty smug that they have some special, privileged knowledge that the average ‘sheeple’ do not. This makes them feel superior. Yet, despite this ‘special’ knowledge they are no better or worse off than the average person. The reason for this is simple. Their knowledge, whether real or imagined, has no utility.

I define the utility value of knowledge as the ability of a set of knowledge to have some form of quantifiable real world impact on your life outcomes. All knowledge that lacks such utility is effectively useless, and is at best interesting trivia.

When I realized this it immediately became obvious why there is such a difference in success levels between intelligent people. Whereas unsuccessful intelligent people seem to focus on obtaining knowledge just for the sake of it, successful people obtain knowledge as a means to an end. They have something they want to achieve, and as they take action they gain knowledge.

Intelligent people often have their intellect handicapped by the need to acquire knowledge and understanding, and to be ‘right’. They seek intellectual perfection over useful utility. This becomes very apparent in the software development profession. Many practitioners in this field are more concerned about their software being 100% correct and efficient. On the surface this may seem like a positive, but it’s not what the important people who pay them their salaries actually want from them. They want utility, in the form of software functionality that actually reduces costs or increases revenue. From the software developer’s point of view they’d rather spend 1000 man hours producing perfect software, over spending 100 man hours producing software that although imperfect (e.g. inefficient, has some minor bugs) generates the exact same revenue as the perfect software because it fulfils the business requirements adequately. They fail to care that the extra 900 man hours produces no utility. It’s hard to imagine such people ever becoming rich if they were to go into business for themselves.

There are many examples of people who are smug that they hold special knowledge, even though that knowledge does nothing to improve their lives. Some examples:

  • People on the manosphere who often discuss the red pill truths which allow for success with women, yet they never actually cold approach any women. They may know better than the average man, but don’t get laid more than the average man.
  • The game denialists. They pick holes in the theory of game, call it pseudo science, and ask for large scale, peer reviewed scientific studies using the scientific method that proves game works. They’re right that there are many flaws in the theory of game. They’re right that some of the evopsych stuff it’s based on is probably wrong. They’re right that game hasn’t been scientifically proven. Despite this game practitioners still get laid way more than them, so their being right on some counts has no utility.
  • Men who know all about nutrition (5 meals a day, 1g protein per lb of bodyweight) and will happily tell me my intermittent fasting is scientifically incorrect. Despite this knowledge they have, I still manage to drop fat faster than they do when I want to, and carry more muscle than them. This is because the knowledge that has the most utility when it comes to nutrition is this: a slightly imperfect diet that you stick to because it fits your lifestyle / eating preferences the best will show better results than a perfect diet that you keep breaking because it’s so tough to maintain.
  • People that seem to know all about business and investing, calling other people suckers for doing things differently, who despite this have an average income.

To many people this may seem obvious. It’s almost the theory vs practice thing, but slightly different. Yet, to me this was an important revelation. As I age I feel the clock ticking, and I am still very mediocre in most areas of my life. I fee like from reading the manosphere and ignoring the mainstream I have a body of valuable knowledge that most people do not. Despite this I look at the real world outcomes I have obtained comparative to my blue pill peers, and wonder what the knowledge has actually done for me. In some areas (sexual success) this knowledge has shown great utility as I have had objectively better outcomes than them. In other areas, I have got nothing from it. I work 9 to 5 in an office like them. I earn about the same money as them. I live in shitty little London flats like they do. I don’t want a life like theirs, or like mine is at the moment. I want something better. Something out of the ordinary. At the moment I don’t seem to be achieving this. It makes me feel I’m actioning the wrong knowledge, or spending my time the wrong way.

I need to make a major change in my life, but the path ahead is unclear.

A Comfortable Mediocrity

The human body always fights to maintain homoeostasis. This is a scientific term which means “stays the same”. For example when your body temperature rises, your veins vasodilate (widen) to allow heat to leave the body. This is an attempt to bring the body back to it’s preferred temperature. To stay the same.

The human psyche is the same. Your brain often seems to fight hard to maintain the current lifestyle to which you have become accustomed. In one way this is good, as it means you will fight tooth and nail to stop yourself sliding down life’s ladder. On the flip side of this, it also means that something deep inside of you will fight your attempts to make your life better. This seems counter-intuitive, but it actually makes good evolutionary sense. The logic is that if you are surviving with your current lifestyle, then why risk jeopardising it by making changes. It is in this way that our DNA often drives us to remain mediocre.

This is a problem that plagues me. I live in a first world country, in one of the most vibrant cities in the world, where I have an income that is around 50% above the mean. Last year I fucked over 20 girls, some of which were really quite attractive. Most of my needs within Maslow’s hierarchy are met with ease. And there in lies the rub. My lifestyle is mediocre by many western standards, and yet it’s comfortable enough that my subconscious will fight any changes that may put it in jeopardy.

My lifestyle feels quite mediocre to me. I even feel a little trapped in my chosen career. I yearn to join the ranks of the top few percent of men, who earn at least a few times the average income, fuck hot women, and enjoy a high degree of freedom in terms of where they go in the world and when.

The only way out is to trick my brain. Most people, myself included can be very apathetic when it comes to being motivated by success. What I do have going for me, like most people, is a very healthy, and motivating, fear of failure. So that’s the trick. I have to make my brain believe that by not doing the things I need to do to make it into that top few percent. I spend a lot of time mind fucking myself. I have to make myself believe my life is a pathetic failure, a mess. Here are some of the things I often dwell on to the point of unhappiness and fear in order to motivate myself:

  • I’ve cut off all internet dating, and I no longer hit on girls less attractive than the top quality of girls I’ve fucked in the past. It’s my previous best or better. The result of this is that I’m not regularly getting laid at the moment. I’m going on dates with attractive girls, and unable to benefit from being better looking than them, I’m getting rejected. This makes me feel bad. It was just today that the sense of fear of losing my ability to get laid really bubbled up to the surface. This is driving me on to study up on game. To right After Action Reports to analyse what’s going on in an attempt to get better.
  • I let every little thing I don’t like about my job expand in my mind until it makes me feel a searing rage at having to work in an office for other people. Day after my brain is slowly internalizing the fact I’d be better off working for myself, and it’s pushing me to do what’s needed to get there.
  • Every day I imagine one of two possible futures for my chosen career. Either going into management, seeing my earnings rise but hating every day of having to be an office bound people pleaser. The other option is staying purely technical but no longer being able to get hired in 5 years time, and seeing my salary stagnate. As with above this drives me towards my own business.
  • I imagine what life will be like when I’m older if I’m not wealthy. I’m not planning to get married, so at the moment my future would be just me in a shitty little studio apartment in the UK not getting laid as I’m past it. This drives me to want to move abroad, make a ton of cash, and regularly fuck hot hookers when I’m too old to pull.

If you’re having difficulty achieving what you want it may well be lack of motivation. Just remember that fear and unhappiness will motivate you more than the joy of having your wildest dreams come true.

Ego Crushing

The player’s journey is a very emotional one. The high points are euphoric, but the low points are crushing. The community will tell you to not give a fuck what anyone else thinks about you, especially not women. There is some truth in this. People have a wide variety of preferences, and this means that in order for some people to love you, others must hate you. One of the dirty little secrets in the PUA Sphere is that we do care what women think of us. Very much so in fact.

Men caring what hot women think of them is, to a certain extent, inescapable. One of our primary biological directives is reproducing with a (preferably) attractive female. When hot women don’t like us this puts that directive under threat. Feeling bad about this is a pretty fundamental response. Not giving a fuck what anyone else thinks of you reminds me of obnoxious people who piss everyone off so everyone hates them. They tell the people they don’t give a fuck, they won’t change their personality to please anyone. The reality is that this is an ego defence mechanism. Rather than admitting to themselves that their personality is horrendous and needs to change, they hide this behind the lie of not caring. It’s a similar thing to 30s careerist women with cunty attitudes who can’t attract men saying they need a man like a fish needs a bicycle. The truth is they have a hole in their life that no amount of lunches with the girls or ‘spiritual’ trips to Morocco can fill. Only a man can fill that hole (yes, pun intended).

I certainly don’t believe that one girl’s negative opinion of you should effect you. No matter how attractive you become, they’ll always be some women who are repulsed by you. What matters is aggregate feedback. This means that when pretty much all the women you’re meeting don’t like you then you have a problem. Denying this is bad for two reasons. Firstly, you’re denying reality. Bad things always happen in the long term when you do this. Secondly, this is an ego protection method disguising itself as high self esteem.

I’ve spent the last few weeks coming back to the game after more or less 5 months off (only a few new women fucked in those 5 months, very little time spent on game). When you exclude online game, my lay off from cold approach has been even longer. I thought I’d have some AA but get back into it quite quickly. I was wrong.

So far I’d estimate that I’ve approached 40 women, with a 50/50 split between day and night game. My results thus far have been: 7 numbers, 2 kiss closes, 2 first dates, 0 lays. I have another first date scheduled for next week, and one girl from day game who responded to my feeler text. The girls I kclosed have been a 7 and an 8. On the surface that doesn’t sound horrendous. What’s bothering me is I keep getting really bad reactions from women who are initially interested:

  • A girl who opened me (I didn’t find her attractive) cut me off literally mid sentence and walked off after 2 minutes of conversation. Never had that happen before.
  • Two day game dates I’ve had the plan was tea at a tea rooms then on to a pub. Both girls left after the tea rooms and wouldn’t come to the pub. So that’s a 45 minute date. My dates have rarely ended so quickly in the past. One of the dates was with an 8 who is just my type. She couldn’t wait to get away. I’ve only had two other cold approach dates this year, both from clubs, both earlier in the year. One left after an hour (feels like this is a common theme) and just didn’t like me. The other was with a girl I had first met briefly over a year ago. I didn’t hit on her then because I thought she was too hot for me. The second time I met her I was very direct and out her out on a date. The first date went exceptionally well and she seemed massively into me. Thought I was close to fucking my first 8. Probably should have pushed for the first date lay given how physical she was getting with me, but pussied out. You need to take them on the flood. The second date was a dud… just no energy and her enthusiasm for me was gone.
  • I’ve had a few girls blow me out telling me directly they don’t like my sense of humour (dry / sarcastic).

I’ve had blow outs and rejections on dates before, of course. Something’s different now though. I seem to be turning initially positive reactions into negative ones. Never a good thing. It’s almost like girls are liking me less the more they get to know me. I have a theory about this. During my lay off from game a lot of my outer game atrophied, but my inner game remained. This leads to me throwing a lot of confidence behind poor outer game. When I first got into game I’d self monitor a lot due to lack of confidence. This actually helped me to some extent, because I’d filter out some stuff that girls wouldn’t like. With more confidence that filter is mostly gone. This leads to me turning a lot of girls off by saying stupid shit.

Although my current level of inner game has survived, I have a lot of work to do in this area. One of my goals for this year is to finally fuck an 8. Although I need to approach more of them to make this happen, I also feel I need a lot of inner game work to get there. For example there’s the whole sigma male thing. Do I really want to be detached from society because of my outsider / introverted nature, or is this really just an ego protection mechanism against the possibility that people won’t like me? I’m not sure how to answer questions like this on my own. There isn’t a lot out there to help guys with this. Skelator from the LSS used to do inner game coaching that everyone rated highly, but I think he’s stopped offering that now. There’s no way I’m going down the route of mainstream psychologists. I really don’t know what to do to improve in this area.

For now I’ll just keep grinding the sets out, going on the dates, taking the rejections that come and trying to learn from these. My day game coach can be some help there, but game is fucking hard to debug. All I can do is keep going, but I have to be constantly analysing my failures and tweaking my game.


Why R-Selection Is Everything

Game is worth $2million in the bank – Roissy

One of the points that game denialists like to tout as ‘proof’ that game doesn’t exist is the fact that most men have been getting laid since the dawn of time, without requiring game. Sorry to burst the denialist bubble on you guys and girls, but this simply isn’t true. The truth is that in the past there was a huge inequality between men when it came to reproductive success. An inequality so large that it makes a modern sausagefest nightclub look like a winning prospect in comparison.

DNA studies have shown that at the dawn of the agricultural era, only 1 man reproduced for every 17 women that reproduced. It is suspected that this happened because the agricultural era was the first time in human history where men were able to horde resources. This meant that the most successful minority were, for the first time ever, able to have a significant advantage over the average man in attracting a mate. It would have been a simple decision for women: sleep with the right man, and you get to eat. Otherwise you starve.

The astute amongst you may have noticed that this is actually extreme K-Selection in action. K-Selection is when a man is seen as a girl by a provider. She gets together with him because he can provide resources. This is in contrast to R-Selection, where she has sex with the man purely to get his DNA; adventure sex. Although the DNA study does seem to indicate that K-Selection probably ruled 8,000 years ago, it does highlight a very important point. Whenever there is an opportunity for a minority of men to strongly distinguish themselves from the average man, there will be a huge difference in the sexual success of the winning males compared to the average males.

I’m going to hazard a guess as to why the trend of 17 women reproducing for every 1 man stopped: religion and marriage. Beta males in their attempt to compete with the Alphas for mates introduced the concept of marriage. This in effect regulated the sexual market place. Since the socially expected norm was to marry one man who’d be your only ever sexual partner, this destroyed the advantage of the harem holders. It didn’t matter how many resources they controlled, they could still only take one wife.

Fast forward thousands of years and we have feminism and the sexual revolution. Women delay marriage because the equality pushed by feminism means they want to concentrate on career in their 20s. Combine this with the effects of birth control and the ensuing sexual revolution and suddenly the sexual market place is deregulated again. As with 8,000 years ago a small minority of men can now distinguish themselves from the average men as women are now longer bound to be monogamous with a single man. This again leads to opportunities for the lucky (or possibly skill full) few to rack up epic notch counts, where as the average man is lucky if he has a lifetime notch count of 10.

The question then is how to be in the small percentage of men that monopolises the sexual market place. Whereas 8,000 years ago this was achieved by a strong ability to provide for many women, this will not work as well in the modern age. This is because unlike all those years ago, modern civilization will provide at the very least the basics to ensure the survival of a women and her offspring, regardless of how badly she fucks up. Although there are still some women who will be attracted to extreme wealth (gold diggers), once a woman’s survival is no longer at stake, a man’s provider (K-selected) ability is no longer of primary concern. All that’s left then is R-selection. In order to sleep with many women, the average man’s best bet is to throw off all trappings of K-selection and focus purely on being the R-selected badboy-esque secret lover. The guy she fucks in an ally as her boyfriend waits for her at home. The choice really is between this and sexual poverty.

In a future post I’ll talk more about R-selected game. I’ll show how the older style pick up material noticed it but failed to really understand or capitalize on it, the effects being more R-selected had on my game, how I occasionally confuse girls by accidentally giving off K-selected signals and how I want to improve and emphasize this aspect of my game in the future.

Changing Gears

I’ve more or less been on a complete hiatus from game for the past 5 months. This time off has given me some time to reflect on my game, with an eye to improving it. With this in mind I was recently reading some of Daygame Mastery. I was reading about the ‘Investment’ stage of the model, and Krauser has this to say:

…spending too much time in attraction means trying too hard. She intuitively feels your lack of confidence and authenticity, which is an instant turn off

Here he describes how after the initial stages of a set you almost completely drop attraction material (teasing, challenging her all the time) to have a normal conversation. To fail to do so means you fall into the trap mentioned above, and ultimately blow a promising set.

Upon reading this it struck me that there is an important aspect of game that isn’t often talked about, and one I’m missing: changing gears.

Changing gears is when you change the way you interact with the girl. The example already given is dropping the attraction stuff and moving into rapport. Another would be moving out of rapport by sexualising the conversation. If you can’t change gears at the right time, two things will happen that will burn your set.

Firstly you’ll come across as very one dimensional, and the girl will get bored. Girls don’t like one trick ponies. I run into this problem a lot with attraction material. I love teasing girls and taking the piss out of them, so I do it a lot, probably too much. There have been times when girls have been initially very attracted to me when I’ve acted this way, only for her interest to fizzle as I keep on doing it for long periods of time.

The second problem is that a change of gears is required to move the set forward. Each set has a definite end goal (cock in pussy, in case you didn’t know), and you need momentum to keep moving through the stages of the courtship ritual to reach this. As an example lets take comfort. You’re in comfort with a girl. Talking pleasantly. Building rapport. This gives you happy feelz because a (hopefully) hot is talking to you and opening up to you. This is great, but if you want to have sex with her, then you need to move out of this phase at some point by escalating. I don’t care if you really like talking to her. And she’s really nice. And you’ve got soooo much in common. You can talk to her all you want after you’ve fucked her.

I’d say the most common failures to change gears are as follows:

  1. Getting stuck in attraction. As stated I’m guilty of this. Once she’s smiling, laughing and looking at you with big eyes don’t be afraid to move on by having a normal, boring conversation.
  2. Failing to escalate. Many guys are scared of a girl seeing their sexual intent, so never go sexual on them. This is a really good way to not get laid.
  3. Being too sexual. The exact opposite of point 2. This is also something I’m guilty of. Once I go sexual I often don’t change gears back into normal conversation. If you’re constantly escalating and being sexual you just come across as a horny dog trying to hump her leg, with no interest in her as a person. A good way to get around this is just think of adding sexuality to the set in terms of spikes. You drop in sexual spikes (e.g. I like your lips, very thick and full. it looks like they were designed to give blow jobs), then move immidately on to normal conversation. This allows you to maintain sexual tension without overdoing it.

Think of a set as a balancing act. You need to show the girl a balance of different aspects of your personality. Each one of this blend of personality traits will elicit a different emotion from the girl. The meet to lay journey is an emotional one for girls, and your going to have to stimulate all the right emotions if you’re to get to your destination. You do this by changing gears.

Progress Update Q1 2015

As Q1 of 2015 draws to a close I thought I’d share my progress towards my goals with you, my dedicated readership of… about 10 people.

Just a reminder as to what my goals for this year were:

  1. Complete the 30 Days of Discipline Program
  2. Get a new job that both broadens my skill set and earns me £60k ($90k) a year
  3. Bang an 8
  4. Get 6 new daygame lays
  5. Save £10k ($15k)
  6. Learn to scuba dive

In a nutshell, I haven’t done well. I completed the 30 days of discipline program. I am better off for it as it has had the effect that I get a lot more productive work done in my spare time. Banging an 8 and getting my daygame lays in is something I haven’t planned to start till next quarter, so that’s not a big deal. The same with learning to scuba dive. I will book the course on June’s payday.

I have failed to get a new job, but it hasn’t been from lack of trying. I’ll just give you some more information on this. I am currently a backend web developer. Within the next 18 months I want to quit my salaried job and go contract. This will enable me to work 8 months of the year and still earn around the same as I do now, if not more. This is pretty vital to my future plans. Trouble is there doesn’t look like the London contract market will support 8 months of backend PHP development work per year at the day rates I would require. My solution to this is diversification. I have began to cross train as a frontend developer, which will triple the number of contracts I  could reasonably apply for. I already have experience in this area, and my individual training is going well. The problem is that in my current job I’m not getting enough of the all important ‘commercial’ experience which will enable me to get contract work in this role.

To get my commercial experience I have been applying for jobs that I believe will allow me to take on a hybrid frontend / backend role. This way I leverage the value of my backend skills and get my commercial experience in frontend skills at the same time. Only trouble is that such jobs are rare. People want either backend or frontend, not a hybrid of both. Recruiters keep sending me to interviews they say are for hybrid roles, but so far only three out of the seven interviews I’ve attended have been. This means more than half my interviews have been a waste of time. I have had some interest from some of these companies, getting to the final stage of interviews with everything looking positive, but I backed out because the jobs didn’t suit my plans. Of the 3 that were hybrid roles, I didn’t get any of the jobs. One was because I did badly in the interview. The other two came down to the fact that they thought I was used to a very different workflow / working environment. Although this was true of one of the companies (really wouldn’t want to work there), it was untrue of the other, so I’m surprised they rejected me for this reason.

I have decided to put the job hunt on hold for a while, for a few reasons. Firstly, I want to give it a while for some new jobs to come on the market. Secondly I can’t keep taking time off work for interviews. Lastly, I really want to start focusing on other things. For the past few months I’ve rarely been out, either running game or socialising. My time has been spent rehearsing interview answers, reading and writing code to keep my skills sharp. I find I can only focus on one major thing at a time, so focusing on game and career are mutually exclusive to me. I’ve only got one new notch this year so far, and I want pussy. I want to crack my day game and HB8 target. I will focus on going out and day game for the second quarter of the year.

My finances haven’t gone well. I splurged at the beginning of the year, leaving me behind. I have reeled in my spending this month, and hope to get even better at this throughout the rest of the year. I just need to get in the habit of saying no to myself. The problem with my saving target is that it was based around my salary increasing from a getting a new job, which is yet to happen.

The thing that disappoints me about all of this is that I’m yet to achieve anything that requires compliance from the world. I have got a little more disciplined and I’m improving my job skills, but these are all internal things. Battles with myself. This is yet to translate into me imposing my will onto the word and getting what I want from it (this is compliance). Krauser talks about this concept of gaining compliance from the world in one of his posts. It’s very important, as no matter how much compliance you can get from yourself you can never really achieve anything significant on your own and in a vacuum. Business success, building wealth, fucking hot women. These all require compliance from the world, and this is where I’m failing.

I’m getting really despondent about this. It’s making me sad. I actually believe this is a good thing. I have an idea of how I want my life to be in the future. It is very different from the life of the 9 to 5 worker bee chode. At the moment I’m not on track to get it, and I really can’t imagine a good future for myself without it. This feels a lot how I felt when starting game. It looked like I wasn’t making any progress. I thought of my future without any success with women and it terrified me. This is what motivated me to do the work needed to fuck the 60 odd women I have in the past 5 years. I feel this same fear now about my future career, and this motivates me greatly.

“When you’re going through hell, keep going”.

Introduction to The Sigma Male Lifestyle Part 2a: The Rise of Feminism, Equalism & Socialism

The big lie that made feminism possible

One of the biggest lies of the 20th century was that women have been oppressed by men throughout the whole of human history. Even some red pill men buy into The Narrative’s assertion that once upon a time women were unfairly treated, but due to social progress this has now changed. These red pill men need some education on the true nature of gender equality in years past.

I can see why society buys the lie. It’s all about context. When you look at what women’s lives were like in the past and view it in the context of the modern western world, things do indeed look unfair. This is where the problem lies though. To truly determine if women had a bad deal in the past you have to examine what their lives were like in the context of the times they lived in. You also have to compare it to the lives of the men who lived side by side with them back then. This is rarely done. The lie is essentially a lie by omission.

In order to see the truth we need context and comparison. Let’s start by looking at the context of the current western world, as this is the context in which women’s treatment is judged.

The most important point regarding the modern western world is what drives our existence. These are the forces impacting the choices we make every single day. These are the motivations that get us out of bed every day. It is what forms the nature of our lifestyles, and as such is fundamental to understanding the modern world.

In the modern world this motivation is self actualization. The motivating factor right at the top of Maslow’s hierarchy of needs. I think self actualization is somewhat of a grandiose term to describe this motivation, as for many it is more a fun seeking attitude somewhat akin to hedonism. This motivation manifests itself in various ways in modern society. Here’s a list of some example motivations that are all just concrete examples of this abstract motivation:

  • Wanting to go travelling
  • Wanting to be rich far beyond your needs
  • Wanting to sleep with lots of different women
  • Wanting to own luxury goods
  • Wanting a job that makes you happy, rather than one the pays the bills

This motivation is in stark contrast to the primary motivators in the past. If you were alive not much more than 100 years ago in the West, unless you were part of a small rich elite, your motivation came down to one thing and one thing only. Survival. Day to day life was purely focused on keeping you and your family alive. You would have no time to worry about things relating to self actualization, such as those in the list above. You may occasionally dream of such things, but they are too far from your grasp to actually motivate you. Take a coal miner living in 1800s Britain. How much time do you think he spent wondering if his job was really what he was “meant for”, or whether it fulfilled him? If he didn’t do that job his family would be starving on the street, with only charitable institutions like the church to aid them. It was down the mine or nothing, so there wasn’t much to think about.This was mainly because they didn’t have the economic conditions nor the technology that allowed their survival needs to be taken care of without any real thought on their part like we do today.

Part of the way people went about fulfilling the primary motivator of keeping themselves and their family alive and well was to adopt gender roles and divide the labour. Back then raising the kids and keeping the home was a full time job. Unless you were one of the elite who could afford to outsource domestic work, one parent simply had to be a full time homemaker. Think how long taking care of the kids and home took without the aid of:

  • Motorized transport
  • Fridge
  • Freezer
  • Advanced telecommunications
  • Vacuum cleaner
  • Microwave
  • Supermarkets
  • Ready meals
  • Washing machine
  • Cheap off the shelf clothing
  • Outsourced childcare

As I’m sure you can imagine, in times past homemaker was a full time job. It had to be, the technology wasn’t there for it to be anything but that. But weren’t women oppressed by the patriarchy and that’s why they were the homemakers instead of the men? Well, no. Back then the vast majority of all jobs were manual labour. In this job market physical strength increased your earning potential. It therefore made sense for men to be the ones to look for paid employment. You also have to realise that in this survival, as opposed to self actualization based context, women wouldn’t even think to themselves, “I wish I had a career”. It wouldn’t make sense.

There we have it. Society tells us women were oppressed by men because the men had the jobs while the women were barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen. The truth is that the world was this way out of necessity rather than oppression. I wonder why women first started complaining about wanting careers and being oppressed when white collar work in safe, clean, air conditioned environments as opposed to manual labour in dirty, dangerous environments became the norm?

In a nutshell women weren’t oppressed in the past. We just had sensible gender roles which were suitable for the context in which they existed. It was male innovation which made it possible and desirable for women to enter the workforce en masse. As soon as this happened they entered the workforce. There was a little resistance at first due to it being a change in long standing tradition, but the resistance was fairly trivial.

This misconception is what has made feminism possible. Today’s women are evaluating women’s roles in the past in the modern context, and as such coming to the wrong conclusion about them being historically oppressed. Feminism capitalizes on this feeling of victimhood and uses it to garner support for it’s cause.

Next up I’ll talk about the effect feminism has had on society, and why it’s a bad thing.

How to Pick Up Men (A Guide by Men for Girls)

I recently had the misfortune to stumble across a Vice article on Seddit entitled, “How to Pick Up Girls (A Guide by Girls for Boys)“. Much of the Seddit debate on the issue focused around whether or not men should take dating advice from girls. My personal opinion on this is very simple. The only dating ‘advice’ you take from a woman is her reaction to your attempt to sleep with her. She sleeps with her, you did something right. If she didn’t then you (maybe) did something wrong. That wasn’t why I wanted to bring the article to your attention.

The article’s tone was at best patronising towards men, at worst out right demeaning towards us. This highlighted a wider issue. This is the double standard that women think they can dole out dating advice to men like manna from heaven, but if a guy was ever to honestly try and tell girls how to better appeal to guys, they would quickly be met my raised eyebrows, exasperated looks and even cries of misogyny. It seems that women get really offended if we try and tell them how to be and act in order to get men interested. Women also seem to think that they own the whole topic of sex, and don’t like men expressing their opinions in this regard. While this isn’t a major issue by any means, it irks me enough to write this article. So without further ado, here is my article on how women can better pickup (or rather be picked up by) men, in all it’s patronising misogynistic glory. It may be written slightly tongue in cheek, but it’s all based in truth.

1. You don’t have to do much. If you put in enough effort into your appearance, the guys should come to you. If the guys you really like never hit on you, you aren’t hot enough.

2. Smile and make eye contact with guys you like. This is an invitation to approach. If you can’t even manage this because you’re shy then you need to woman up and grow some ovaries. You won’t get the quality cock by being a total wallflower.

3. Put yourself on display. Like a mannequin in a shop window. Or a slab of meat in the butchers a man has to see you in order to approach you. Make your self visible and accessible. I’ve been to many London single nights where groups of woman have sat in tables in the corner with a big bottle of wine all night, making it really logistically hard for men to approach them. They no doubt end the night wondering why no men come and talk to them…

4. Don’t be fat. This is the one way, above all others, in which modern Western women really shoot themselves in the foot. It is hard to really hard to express in words the effect that excess body fat has on a woman’s attractiveness. Given that I’ll use pictures instead. Check these fit to fat images out. She goes from maybe a 7 / 8 to a 3 over the course of 100lbs. Even after about 20lbs she’s down to a 6.

A young (18 – 29) woman who puts a little care into her hair and make up will be very very attractive to the vast majority of men. Even if she doesn’t have the prettiest face ever (as long as it’s not verging on deformed) then a slim women will be able to give most guys a raging boner. This makes picking them up trivial; they’ll come to you, do all the work and even pay for everything on dates. Given the quantity and scope of work an average man will have to do on himself to be highly attractive to most women, you girls have it easy. Just don’t be fat. You had just one job girls…

I know it can seem hard sometimes. I do sympathise. Please bear in mind that I like food so much that the pleasure I derive from eating a good donner kebab is almost comparable to the pleasure I get from fucking a good looking woman. It can be hard to resist. There comes a point though, when I look in the mirror and my torso starts to look more blob shapped than V shaped. That’s the point when I know I’m going to be on an intermittent fasting diet for the next month. You don’t have to starve yourself. You don’t even have to go to the gym. Just learn the basics of nutrition and don’t consume more than 1800 calories a day for a while. This is not an anorexic diet. As a 210lb man I’ve done this for multiple weeks with no ill effects. It just means refined sugar (candy, starbucks, etc) and fried foods are off the menu.

5. Do your squats. Well lift weights in general, not just squats. No, you won’t start to look too muscular. Unless you make weight training the sole focus of your life your high levels of estrogen will ensure you never look too muscular or manly from lifting weights. This point is similar to number 4, but takes it one step further. If you can look boner inducingly attractive by just being slim, if you add muscle tone to the mix you’re going to be nigh on irresistible to many men (unless you have a really dog ugly face).

Not many women go to the gym I go to (sign of a good gym). Out of those who do, most do just cardio, some do weights as well. I have noticed that the ones who also do weights have significantly more attractive bodies than those who don’t. I mentioned squats explicitly for a reason. I’ve dated girls who are nice and slim due to lots of running. They are attractive but their bodies still lack exactly the right shape to be mind blowing. This is where squats come in. Unless you have brazillian DNA, running will keep you slim but you’ll get a flat ass. Squats will add some (firm) mass and shame to your ass, hips and thighs. This won’t be achieved with high reps and baby weights. I’d guess you need to work your way up to around a set of 10 reps with 80kgs. You need this to build muscle mass in your glutes (ass) muscles.

6. Let the man lead. Women always moan about how they want a real man. They want a man who will take the lead, and isn’t a pushover like most Western men these days have turned into. Despite this, when a man who can actually take the lead comes along, you fight him for dominance. If he sets up a date with you at a perfectly nice bar, don’t try and argue for a different one due to some minor point like they don’t have the exact Sauvignon Blanc you like. Let him lead, and be happy under his leadership. You can’t have too people with masculine polarity in one relationship.

7. Don’t be a cunt. I’m not taking now about being quite quick to dismiss a guy you aren’t interested in when he’s hitting on you. This is fine. You are under no obligation to talk to a stranger who tries to chat you up. Feel free to be cold and blunt in this situation. Truly confident men know the score and take the hint with no animosity towards you.

I’m taking about when you’re on a date with a guy. This implies you liked him at least enough to accept when he asked you out. Given this, acting in an abrasive, and frankly cunty manner towards him makes no sense. This isn’t the majority of girls, but still can happen surprisingly frequently. You don’t have to kiss his ass, but if you talk to him in such a way which a female friend would get annoyed at you for talking to her in that way, then you’re probably being cunty. Guys want a soft feminine personality in a girl, not abrasiveness.

An example from my personal life is that a girl I was on a date with called me a ‘manchild’ because I… had my own flat instead of sharing with other people, as many in London have to do for financial reasons. It isn’t just the ass backward logic of this statement that dumbfounded me, it was the bitchiness. As I said, it’s not the majority of women who are like this, but it is a significant minority. It’s almost exclusively late 20s / early 30s career girls. Maybe you can guess what my solution to this is.

Introduction To The Sigma Male Lifestyle Part 1: What Is A Sigma Male?

There are many pseudo science theories floating around the internet which claim to be able to categorize men into positions in a dominance hierarchy. I label these theories pseudo science out of a sense of academic honesty, rather than due to having disdain for them. These theories stem from observing animal societies, with some evolutionary biology thrown in for good measure.

I’m sure you’ve seen the basic hierarchy many times on the internet, but here it is again.

  1. Alpha males
  2. Beta males

The alpha males are more dominant and fewer in numbers than the betas. Since dominance implies the ability to get what one wants, alphas are the prefered mates for women due to the perceived benefits women derive from allying with them. This is of course an imperfect and simplified model. Some men are dominant in some situations, and not in others. The hierarchy can be pretty fluid, and shifts based upon the group of males within which an individual finds himself. To give an example a man who is dominant within his primary social group may be fairly submissive within a different group of more assertive men.

In most writing about male dominance this is where the discussion ends. Other people have, however, identified that certain men exist largely outside of this hierarchy. These men are:

  1. Sigma males
  2. Omega males

Unlike alphas and betas who are drawn to the social hierarchy, sigmas and omegas actively try and avoid it most of the time. They are loners. I’d say the two groups combined represent the minority of men. Maybe only 10%. The difference between omegas and sigmas is how the mainstream hierarchy reacts to them when they interact with it’s members.

Omegas are shunned by the hierarchy. They are the cliched basement dwelling, WOW playing neckbeards. They generally hold much  resentment towards those within the hierarchy and towards women. The way they dress, groom themselves and their poor social skills are what cause members of the hierarchy to instantly perceive them as low value. The are social outcasts.

Sigmas are generally well received by the hierarchy, and are often initially mistaken for alphas due to their confidence and good social skills. A sigmas social aloofness will often confuse people. People understand the fact omegas don’t seem to want to interact socially as it’s obvious they would be rejected as people won’t like them. On the flip side of this people often assume the sigma’s lack of socialising means the sigma doesn’t like them. The sigma comes across as always having somewhere else to be, or something better to be doing.

When it  comes to women, omegas are right at the bottom of the pile, but sigmas do pretty well. This is due to the fact they have alpha traits. Although sigmas generally don’t feel the need to dominate others, they are capable of it, and they strongly resist when anyone tries to dominate them. This coupled with the air of mystery they display due to their aloofness attracts the women. Girls will often say a sigma intrigues them.

Socialising isn’t the beginning and the end of it. Sigmas often see the world differently. They fight any hierarchy that tries to include them, for example a workplace hierarchy. To them, any attempt to bring them into a hierarchy feels like the borg are attempting to assimilate them. Their values are very much their own, and offer differ from mainstream values. They tend to go their own way as they feel what most others are doing is ineffective or undesirable. This means they will generally attempt to break free from the standard western male life path.

If you want to see some Hollywood archetypes of sigmas, read Krauser’s post on what a sigma male looks like.

My previous blog was entitled BetaToPua, but the truth is I misclassified myself as a beta. I have always fought to free myself from any social hierarchy that tried to assimilate me. In the past this resulted in me being an omega. I had no friends, was fat, dressed badly and lacked social skills. I was trying to become and alpha but soon realised that this path was not for me. I have no desire to be part of any hierarchy and no desire to dominate groups of men. I view leadership as a burden rather than a privilege. I’ve now slept with too many women to be and omega, but yet my journey to becoming a sigma is not yet complete. My current life trajectory is too much in keeping with what is expected of a beta male for this to be the case, and I’m still not adept enough at dealing with alphas who cross my path. Over the lifetime of the blog you will see this change.

Progress Update

As a way of procrastinating from writing my series of introduction posts to this blog I’ve decided to give you all a quick update on my progress, as measured against the goals I’ve set for myself this year.

I’ve been focusing all of my mental energy, and much of my time on finding a new job. I’ve also been following the 30 Days of Discipline program. That program is actually helping me achieve my goal of getting a new job. It’s getting me more disciplined and freeing up my time. This leads to me doing more interview preparation.

The job hunt has been hard. This is not due to there being a lack of jobs on offer, but instead my salary expectations, the set of requirements I have for a job, and difficulty in getting time off for interviews. So far I’ve interviewed for 5 companies. With one I bombed, and another I didn’t have experience in very specific areas. I’ve got through to the final interview stage at three companies, but have declined in two of these cases, and I thought the job didn’t match my requirements. I have my final stage interview for the last company in 2 weeks time. The job has loads of benefits: great technology stack that will help me out when I go contract in the future, free lunch every day and it’s even walking distance from my flat. For the next two weeks the main focus of my life will be ensuring I get this job. My mornings before work will consist of getting up at 5am and practising writing algorithms and making sure I know the differences between MYISAM and INNODB. What fun.

The 30 Days of Discipline has been going ok. I’d say I’m sticking to it around 80%. After this month ends I’ll probably have another go at it and get it to 100%.

I haven’t been chasing women at all. I’ve fucked one girl who I’d already fucked last year, and got one number from a girl I would say was a 7.5 but it looks like a flake. This will probably be the first month in a long long time when I get no new lays. The truth is “working on yourself” doesn’t magically get you laid. You need to go out and game hard too, and I haven’t been doing that. I have come to realise that you only have the focus and mental energy to do one big thing in your life at a time (on top of your day job). This means women have to take a back seat for now.

In terms of trying to save money the year has got off to a bad start. Managed to spend hundreds on useless crap, meaning a big percentage of last years savings have gone. As soon as I get my new job I’m going to switch my focus to get into the habit of being a penny pinching scrooge. My default mindset will be to say no to anything that costs me money. That combined with the fact I’ve now finished paying off my student loan and a pay rise I should just about scrape 10k in savings this year.