Progress Report

As we’re nearly half the way through the year, I thought I’d look at my 2015 goals again and update you all on my progress.

  1. Complete the 30 Days of Discipline Program – Done
  2. Get a new job that both broadens my skill set and earns me £60k ($90k) a year – Done (sort of)
  3. Bang an 8
  4. Get 6 new daygame lays – 1 of 6
  5. Save £10k ($15k) – Not going to happen
  6. Learn to scuba dive – In progress

After spending about 8 months retraining in my spare time I have gotten a job which has allowed me to broaden my skill set such that I should be able to find a lot of profitable contract work in the near future. The ‘sort of’ part is that it doesn’t earn me quite the 90k I was hoping for, but on the flip side of that I do get a not insubstantial amount of stock in the company. I’ll tick this one off.

I’m currently doing the theory section of my scuba diving training online at home. It’s boring. I hope to do the swimming pool training next month, but I’ve picked up a minor chest infection (or lung cancer, who knows) that doesn’t seem to want to do away. My theory has shown me that lung problems as scuba can be a potentially fatal mix, so I’m currently trying to quite smoking (again) to speed up recovery.

The money issue. Last year I was moderately good at saving. This year I’ve been terrible. I now earn almost £1,000 per month more than I need to have a reasonable quality of life. My future plans rely on me having 10 – 15k in the bank, so I need to develop better spending habits. In truth I squander 100s a month. I hope to end up saving 5k this year, will be OK with 4k though. Next year saving will be a big focus. I haven’t increased my fixed costs in years so this should not be too hard, just down to habits.

My game has been almost non existent this year. I’ve only fucked 3 women. Two from online dating, and one a long game day game lay. I’ve decided to progress I need to go cold turkey on online dating. Doing this has made me realise how much I relied on it last year, and how long it’s been since I’ve done regular cold approach. I used to be unsure if game actually made a difference or not. I thought maybe it’s just because I approach more and look better since starting game. The nightgame I’ve done this year proves to me that there is such a thing as game, and it is most noticeable when it is absent. I’ve grown out of practice. My vibe is off. This shows at the end of the night when I’m left thinking, “I’m sure it used to be easier than this”.

All in all I’m mainly moving in the right direction. The diving will come in time, that’s fairly simple. I’ve mainly written of the saving of the 10k. That leaves game.

I’m fairly sure that if I bang 5 more girls from daygame this year, one of them will be an 8. Daygame seems to be the best form of game in terms of getting quality of girls. This means I’m going to focus on daygame.

Although I’ve always struggled with daygame, I’m close to a mental tipping point with it. At the moment I don’t actually like daygame. I find it boring and scary. Once I reach a critical mass of lays (probably only a couple or so more required), my brain will associate daygame with sex (as opposed to wondering up and down Oxford Street weaselling out of sets). As soon as this happens I will love daygame. I’ll go out more, open more and have a better vibe. When this happens my results will snowball.

I’m going to have to give my new job a bit of focus. I skills won’t be a 100% in it for a while, plus I have the feeling some fairly long hours will be expected at times. Apart from that my life is pretty clear to make daygame a priority for at least the next 7 months, possibly a year. Time to set a sub goal.

My goal is to be opening 20 daygame sets a week by the end of July 2015. Since I only usually manage to do 5 – 10, this is a lot for me, which is why I’ve given myself 2 months. part of me thinks this is bullshit, as the only thing stopping me opening 20 sets tomorrow is me. Realistically though, there are some mental battles to be won before I’ll do that.

This first part of the year hasn’t been that happy for me. I think now I am in a good position to do things that will make me happier going forward. Namely fucking hot young girls from daygame.

Do You Even Sarge, Bro?

I still remember when I first entered the seduction community about 6 years ago. At the time I wasn’t getting laid, and didn’t know how to. I was full at hope of what the community had to offer me. At the same time there was much doubt. Did it really work? Would I be successful with it? I remember reading that at most maybe 10% of people who start out in the seduction community actually end up having good levels of success with women. I wanted to know what separated the 10% from the 90% of failures. Now I know.

I’ve recently been easing my way back into cold approach after doing very little of it during much of last year (last year was the Year of Tinder for me), and none at the beginning of this year. I’m perfectly happy solo daygaming, but for nightgame I want wings. This is actually a prerequisite to some extent, as many clubs in London won’t let you in if you’re flying solo (“No single entries” they say). I have a few guys I go out with, but many of them go out irregularly these days. I want a regular wolf pack who goes out every Saturday.

Despite posting for wings / meetups several times on a London based forum, and being added to a whatsapp group with over 100 London based forum guys on there, I’m still yet to find a new wings. I’ve only met one guy. I get very few responses for postings. When I do actually swap numbers with guys they’re harder to get out on a sarge than it is to convert a girl’s number to a date. Either they have to get up early the next morning, or are off to a party on Saturday night, or ect…

It seems to me that for all the talk about seduction that goes on online on forums and the comment sections of blogs, very few people regularly sarge. Go to /r/seduction and look at the posts. From the content and topics discussed try and work out how many of the people posting there sarge consistently, or have even tried to do so. Many of the post are about social circle, online dates or escaping the dreaded ‘Friendzone’.

This is what it comes down to. The 90% of men who fail at seduction do so because they don’t ever sarge regularly. Yes there are some exceptions, like the guy on the RSD forums who did 1,000 cold approaches and only every got one BJ, but generally it’s just because guys don’t consistently cold approach. Every guy I’ve been out with who sticks with it for 1+ years of regular sarging has at least a decent amount of success with women. It’s the same with the gym. There is no secret. Guys who are consistent with their training and nutrition over a period of multiple years have good bodies. Guys that aren’t, don’t.

I know some people have other things going on in their life. Social circles. Careers. Hobbies. All these things are great, but part of success is prioritisation. If you want to excel in one area, you have to be willing to let other areas of your life decline. You only have so much time and mental energy each week, and so a decision to do one thing is often also an implicit decision not to do other things. If you want to get good with women you need to be willing to devote 10 hours a week to cold approach, for a whole year, minimum.

I hope to have my career goal for this year ticked of my list soon. If I achieve this my focus will start to shift back on to cold approach, primarily daygame. I will be successful in this endeavour. I know this because I will be employing my secret. That secret is consistency.

Yes, I sarge. What about you. Do you even sarge, bro?

The Utility Value of Knowledge

All of the people with whom I regularly associate in either my private, professional or ‘online’ life are firmly on the right hand side of the intelligence bell curve. Despite all of these people having roughly similar levels of intelligence, there is a marked difference in the level of objectively quantifiable success many of them have in certain areas of life, whether it be financial success or success with women. Since I myself only seem to experience average levels of success in my life, I often seek to determine what the difference is between the people I know who are successful and those who are not.

The answer actually came to me when thinking about conspiracy theorists. I’m sure you know they type, they are easily found on many forums online. They “know the truth” about what the government and elites are ‘really’ up to. Maybe they have large reserves of bitcoin, guns or food stashed away. What ever there particular theories, they seem pretty smug that they have some special, privileged knowledge that the average ‘sheeple’ do not. This makes them feel superior. Yet, despite this ‘special’ knowledge they are no better or worse off than the average person. The reason for this is simple. Their knowledge, whether real or imagined, has no utility.

I define the utility value of knowledge as the ability of a set of knowledge to have some form of quantifiable real world impact on your life outcomes. All knowledge that lacks such utility is effectively useless, and is at best interesting trivia.

When I realized this it immediately became obvious why there is such a difference in success levels between intelligent people. Whereas unsuccessful intelligent people seem to focus on obtaining knowledge just for the sake of it, successful people obtain knowledge as a means to an end. They have something they want to achieve, and as they take action they gain knowledge.

Intelligent people often have their intellect handicapped by the need to acquire knowledge and understanding, and to be ‘right’. They seek intellectual perfection over useful utility. This becomes very apparent in the software development profession. Many practitioners in this field are more concerned about their software being 100% correct and efficient. On the surface this may seem like a positive, but it’s not what the important people who pay them their salaries actually want from them. They want utility, in the form of software functionality that actually reduces costs or increases revenue. From the software developer’s point of view they’d rather spend 1000 man hours producing perfect software, over spending 100 man hours producing software that although imperfect (e.g. inefficient, has some minor bugs) generates the exact same revenue as the perfect software because it fulfils the business requirements adequately. They fail to care that the extra 900 man hours produces no utility. It’s hard to imagine such people ever becoming rich if they were to go into business for themselves.

There are many examples of people who are smug that they hold special knowledge, even though that knowledge does nothing to improve their lives. Some examples:

  • People on the manosphere who often discuss the red pill truths which allow for success with women, yet they never actually cold approach any women. They may know better than the average man, but don’t get laid more than the average man.
  • The game denialists. They pick holes in the theory of game, call it pseudo science, and ask for large scale, peer reviewed scientific studies using the scientific method that proves game works. They’re right that there are many flaws in the theory of game. They’re right that some of the evopsych stuff it’s based on is probably wrong. They’re right that game hasn’t been scientifically proven. Despite this game practitioners still get laid way more than them, so their being right on some counts has no utility.
  • Men who know all about nutrition (5 meals a day, 1g protein per lb of bodyweight) and will happily tell me my intermittent fasting is scientifically incorrect. Despite this knowledge they have, I still manage to drop fat faster than they do when I want to, and carry more muscle than them. This is because the knowledge that has the most utility when it comes to nutrition is this: a slightly imperfect diet that you stick to because it fits your lifestyle / eating preferences the best will show better results than a perfect diet that you keep breaking because it’s so tough to maintain.
  • People that seem to know all about business and investing, calling other people suckers for doing things differently, who despite this have an average income.

To many people this may seem obvious. It’s almost the theory vs practice thing, but slightly different. Yet, to me this was an important revelation. As I age I feel the clock ticking, and I am still very mediocre in most areas of my life. I fee like from reading the manosphere and ignoring the mainstream I have a body of valuable knowledge that most people do not. Despite this I look at the real world outcomes I have obtained comparative to my blue pill peers, and wonder what the knowledge has actually done for me. In some areas (sexual success) this knowledge has shown great utility as I have had objectively better outcomes than them. In other areas, I have got nothing from it. I work 9 to 5 in an office like them. I earn about the same money as them. I live in shitty little London flats like they do. I don’t want a life like theirs, or like mine is at the moment. I want something better. Something out of the ordinary. At the moment I don’t seem to be achieving this. It makes me feel I’m actioning the wrong knowledge, or spending my time the wrong way.

I need to make a major change in my life, but the path ahead is unclear.

A Comfortable Mediocrity

The human body always fights to maintain homoeostasis. This is a scientific term which means “stays the same”. For example when your body temperature rises, your veins vasodilate (widen) to allow heat to leave the body. This is an attempt to bring the body back to it’s preferred temperature. To stay the same.

The human psyche is the same. Your brain often seems to fight hard to maintain the current lifestyle to which you have become accustomed. In one way this is good, as it means you will fight tooth and nail to stop yourself sliding down life’s ladder. On the flip side of this, it also means that something deep inside of you will fight your attempts to make your life better. This seems counter-intuitive, but it actually makes good evolutionary sense. The logic is that if you are surviving with your current lifestyle, then why risk jeopardising it by making changes. It is in this way that our DNA often drives us to remain mediocre.

This is a problem that plagues me. I live in a first world country, in one of the most vibrant cities in the world, where I have an income that is around 50% above the mean. Last year I fucked over 20 girls, some of which were really quite attractive. Most of my needs within Maslow’s hierarchy are met with ease. And there in lies the rub. My lifestyle is mediocre by many western standards, and yet it’s comfortable enough that my subconscious will fight any changes that may put it in jeopardy.

My lifestyle feels quite mediocre to me. I even feel a little trapped in my chosen career. I yearn to join the ranks of the top few percent of men, who earn at least a few times the average income, fuck hot women, and enjoy a high degree of freedom in terms of where they go in the world and when.

The only way out is to trick my brain. Most people, myself included can be very apathetic when it comes to being motivated by success. What I do have going for me, like most people, is a very healthy, and motivating, fear of failure. So that’s the trick. I have to make my brain believe that by not doing the things I need to do to make it into that top few percent. I spend a lot of time mind fucking myself. I have to make myself believe my life is a pathetic failure, a mess. Here are some of the things I often dwell on to the point of unhappiness and fear in order to motivate myself:

  • I’ve cut off all internet dating, and I no longer hit on girls less attractive than the top quality of girls I’ve fucked in the past. It’s my previous best or better. The result of this is that I’m not regularly getting laid at the moment. I’m going on dates with attractive girls, and unable to benefit from being better looking than them, I’m getting rejected. This makes me feel bad. It was just today that the sense of fear of losing my ability to get laid really bubbled up to the surface. This is driving me on to study up on game. To right After Action Reports to analyse what’s going on in an attempt to get better.
  • I let every little thing I don’t like about my job expand in my mind until it makes me feel a searing rage at having to work in an office for other people. Day after my brain is slowly internalizing the fact I’d be better off working for myself, and it’s pushing me to do what’s needed to get there.
  • Every day I imagine one of two possible futures for my chosen career. Either going into management, seeing my earnings rise but hating every day of having to be an office bound people pleaser. The other option is staying purely technical but no longer being able to get hired in 5 years time, and seeing my salary stagnate. As with above this drives me towards my own business.
  • I imagine what life will be like when I’m older if I’m not wealthy. I’m not planning to get married, so at the moment my future would be just me in a shitty little studio apartment in the UK not getting laid as I’m past it. This drives me to want to move abroad, make a ton of cash, and regularly fuck hot hookers when I’m too old to pull.

If you’re having difficulty achieving what you want it may well be lack of motivation. Just remember that fear and unhappiness will motivate you more than the joy of having your wildest dreams come true.

Ego Crushing

The player’s journey is a very emotional one. The high points are euphoric, but the low points are crushing. The community will tell you to not give a fuck what anyone else thinks about you, especially not women. There is some truth in this. People have a wide variety of preferences, and this means that in order for some people to love you, others must hate you. One of the dirty little secrets in the PUA Sphere is that we do care what women think of us. Very much so in fact.

Men caring what hot women think of them is, to a certain extent, inescapable. One of our primary biological directives is reproducing with a (preferably) attractive female. When hot women don’t like us this puts that directive under threat. Feeling bad about this is a pretty fundamental response. Not giving a fuck what anyone else thinks of you reminds me of obnoxious people who piss everyone off so everyone hates them. They tell the people they don’t give a fuck, they won’t change their personality to please anyone. The reality is that this is an ego defence mechanism. Rather than admitting to themselves that their personality is horrendous and needs to change, they hide this behind the lie of not caring. It’s a similar thing to 30s careerist women with cunty attitudes who can’t attract men saying they need a man like a fish needs a bicycle. The truth is they have a hole in their life that no amount of lunches with the girls or ‘spiritual’ trips to Morocco can fill. Only a man can fill that hole (yes, pun intended).

I certainly don’t believe that one girl’s negative opinion of you should effect you. No matter how attractive you become, they’ll always be some women who are repulsed by you. What matters is aggregate feedback. This means that when pretty much all the women you’re meeting don’t like you then you have a problem. Denying this is bad for two reasons. Firstly, you’re denying reality. Bad things always happen in the long term when you do this. Secondly, this is an ego protection method disguising itself as high self esteem.

I’ve spent the last few weeks coming back to the game after more or less 5 months off (only a few new women fucked in those 5 months, very little time spent on game). When you exclude online game, my lay off from cold approach has been even longer. I thought I’d have some AA but get back into it quite quickly. I was wrong.

So far I’d estimate that I’ve approached 40 women, with a 50/50 split between day and night game. My results thus far have been: 7 numbers, 2 kiss closes, 2 first dates, 0 lays. I have another first date scheduled for next week, and one girl from day game who responded to my feeler text. The girls I kclosed have been a 7 and an 8. On the surface that doesn’t sound horrendous. What’s bothering me is I keep getting really bad reactions from women who are initially interested:

  • A girl who opened me (I didn’t find her attractive) cut me off literally mid sentence and walked off after 2 minutes of conversation. Never had that happen before.
  • Two day game dates I’ve had the plan was tea at a tea rooms then on to a pub. Both girls left after the tea rooms and wouldn’t come to the pub. So that’s a 45 minute date. My dates have rarely ended so quickly in the past. One of the dates was with an 8 who is just my type. She couldn’t wait to get away. I’ve only had two other cold approach dates this year, both from clubs, both earlier in the year. One left after an hour (feels like this is a common theme) and just didn’t like me. The other was with a girl I had first met briefly over a year ago. I didn’t hit on her then because I thought she was too hot for me. The second time I met her I was very direct and out her out on a date. The first date went exceptionally well and she seemed massively into me. Thought I was close to fucking my first 8. Probably should have pushed for the first date lay given how physical she was getting with me, but pussied out. You need to take them on the flood. The second date was a dud… just no energy and her enthusiasm for me was gone.
  • I’ve had a few girls blow me out telling me directly they don’t like my sense of humour (dry / sarcastic).

I’ve had blow outs and rejections on dates before, of course. Something’s different now though. I seem to be turning initially positive reactions into negative ones. Never a good thing. It’s almost like girls are liking me less the more they get to know me. I have a theory about this. During my lay off from game a lot of my outer game atrophied, but my inner game remained. This leads to me throwing a lot of confidence behind poor outer game. When I first got into game I’d self monitor a lot due to lack of confidence. This actually helped me to some extent, because I’d filter out some stuff that girls wouldn’t like. With more confidence that filter is mostly gone. This leads to me turning a lot of girls off by saying stupid shit.

Although my current level of inner game has survived, I have a lot of work to do in this area. One of my goals for this year is to finally fuck an 8. Although I need to approach more of them to make this happen, I also feel I need a lot of inner game work to get there. For example there’s the whole sigma male thing. Do I really want to be detached from society because of my outsider / introverted nature, or is this really just an ego protection mechanism against the possibility that people won’t like me? I’m not sure how to answer questions like this on my own. There isn’t a lot out there to help guys with this. Skelator from the LSS used to do inner game coaching that everyone rated highly, but I think he’s stopped offering that now. There’s no way I’m going down the route of mainstream psychologists. I really don’t know what to do to improve in this area.

For now I’ll just keep grinding the sets out, going on the dates, taking the rejections that come and trying to learn from these. My day game coach can be some help there, but game is fucking hard to debug. All I can do is keep going, but I have to be constantly analysing my failures and tweaking my game.


Why R-Selection Is Everything

Game is worth $2million in the bank – Roissy

One of the points that game denialists like to tout as ‘proof’ that game doesn’t exist is the fact that most men have been getting laid since the dawn of time, without requiring game. Sorry to burst the denialist bubble on you guys and girls, but this simply isn’t true. The truth is that in the past there was a huge inequality between men when it came to reproductive success. An inequality so large that it makes a modern sausagefest nightclub look like a winning prospect in comparison.

DNA studies have shown that at the dawn of the agricultural era, only 1 man reproduced for every 17 women that reproduced. It is suspected that this happened because the agricultural era was the first time in human history where men were able to horde resources. This meant that the most successful minority were, for the first time ever, able to have a significant advantage over the average man in attracting a mate. It would have been a simple decision for women: sleep with the right man, and you get to eat. Otherwise you starve.

The astute amongst you may have noticed that this is actually extreme K-Selection in action. K-Selection is when a man is seen as a girl by a provider. She gets together with him because he can provide resources. This is in contrast to R-Selection, where she has sex with the man purely to get his DNA; adventure sex. Although the DNA study does seem to indicate that K-Selection probably ruled 8,000 years ago, it does highlight a very important point. Whenever there is an opportunity for a minority of men to strongly distinguish themselves from the average man, there will be a huge difference in the sexual success of the winning males compared to the average males.

I’m going to hazard a guess as to why the trend of 17 women reproducing for every 1 man stopped: religion and marriage. Beta males in their attempt to compete with the Alphas for mates introduced the concept of marriage. This in effect regulated the sexual market place. Since the socially expected norm was to marry one man who’d be your only ever sexual partner, this destroyed the advantage of the harem holders. It didn’t matter how many resources they controlled, they could still only take one wife.

Fast forward thousands of years and we have feminism and the sexual revolution. Women delay marriage because the equality pushed by feminism means they want to concentrate on career in their 20s. Combine this with the effects of birth control and the ensuing sexual revolution and suddenly the sexual market place is deregulated again. As with 8,000 years ago a small minority of men can now distinguish themselves from the average men as women are now longer bound to be monogamous with a single man. This again leads to opportunities for the lucky (or possibly skill full) few to rack up epic notch counts, where as the average man is lucky if he has a lifetime notch count of 10.

The question then is how to be in the small percentage of men that monopolises the sexual market place. Whereas 8,000 years ago this was achieved by a strong ability to provide for many women, this will not work as well in the modern age. This is because unlike all those years ago, modern civilization will provide at the very least the basics to ensure the survival of a women and her offspring, regardless of how badly she fucks up. Although there are still some women who will be attracted to extreme wealth (gold diggers), once a woman’s survival is no longer at stake, a man’s provider (K-selected) ability is no longer of primary concern. All that’s left then is R-selection. In order to sleep with many women, the average man’s best bet is to throw off all trappings of K-selection and focus purely on being the R-selected badboy-esque secret lover. The guy she fucks in an ally as her boyfriend waits for her at home. The choice really is between this and sexual poverty.

In a future post I’ll talk more about R-selected game. I’ll show how the older style pick up material noticed it but failed to really understand or capitalize on it, the effects being more R-selected had on my game, how I occasionally confuse girls by accidentally giving off K-selected signals and how I want to improve and emphasize this aspect of my game in the future.