I still remember when I first entered the seduction community about 6 years ago. At the time I wasn’t getting laid, and didn’t know how to. I was full at hope of what the community had to offer me. At the same time there was much doubt. Did it really work? Would I be successful with it? I remember reading that at most maybe 10% of people who start out in the seduction community actually end up having good levels of success with women. I wanted to know what separated the 10% from the 90% of failures. Now I know.
I’ve recently been easing my way back into cold approach after doing very little of it during much of last year (last year was the Year of Tinder for me), and none at the beginning of this year. I’m perfectly happy solo daygaming, but for nightgame I want wings. This is actually a prerequisite to some extent, as many clubs in London won’t let you in if you’re flying solo (“No single entries” they say). I have a few guys I go out with, but many of them go out irregularly these days. I want a regular wolf pack who goes out every Saturday.
Despite posting for wings / meetups several times on a London based forum, and being added to a whatsapp group with over 100 London based forum guys on there, I’m still yet to find a new wings. I’ve only met one guy. I get very few responses for postings. When I do actually swap numbers with guys they’re harder to get out on a sarge than it is to convert a girl’s number to a date. Either they have to get up early the next morning, or are off to a party on Saturday night, or ect…
It seems to me that for all the talk about seduction that goes on online on forums and the comment sections of blogs, very few people regularly sarge. Go to /r/seduction and look at the posts. From the content and topics discussed try and work out how many of the people posting there sarge consistently, or have even tried to do so. Many of the post are about social circle, online dates or escaping the dreaded ‘Friendzone’.
This is what it comes down to. The 90% of men who fail at seduction do so because they don’t ever sarge regularly. Yes there are some exceptions, like the guy on the RSD forums who did 1,000 cold approaches and only every got one BJ, but generally it’s just because guys don’t consistently cold approach. Every guy I’ve been out with who sticks with it for 1+ years of regular sarging has at least a decent amount of success with women. It’s the same with the gym. There is no secret. Guys who are consistent with their training and nutrition over a period of multiple years have good bodies. Guys that aren’t, don’t.
I know some people have other things going on in their life. Social circles. Careers. Hobbies. All these things are great, but part of success is prioritisation. If you want to excel in one area, you have to be willing to let other areas of your life decline. You only have so much time and mental energy each week, and so a decision to do one thing is often also an implicit decision not to do other things. If you want to get good with women you need to be willing to devote 10 hours a week to cold approach, for a whole year, minimum.
I hope to have my career goal for this year ticked of my list soon. If I achieve this my focus will start to shift back on to cold approach, primarily daygame. I will be successful in this endeavour. I know this because I will be employing my secret. That secret is consistency.
Yes, I sarge. What about you. Do you even sarge, bro?
I’ve made about 300 approaches in the last two years. That’s the full extent of my game history. Months go by and I don’t approach once, and then other months I might approach 10 or 20 or 50 times, if I feel like it. So for most of the year, I don’t sarge because I’ve got 100 other things going on in my life. And yet I’ve still gotten a bunch of ONSes and mini relationships out of this, and I feel that that side of my life is covered.
Your dedication is admirable, but you either want too much, or you are not very good at this and that’s why you have to work so hard for it. Approaching as a full time thing, the way Krauser and Torero do it, is essentially a job. It’s boring and it gets old fast. Sports are more fun. Videogames are more fun. Reading is more fun. Approaching is fun too, but only in moderation, as a spice for the other things in life. I would shoot myself in the face if I had to approach 100 times a week.
I believe that this is obsession with approaching is a sign of why PUAs were so bad with women in their pre-PUA days: because they were boring people with no interests. And that’s why girls didn’t like them. After their PUA initiation, girls STILL don’t like them, but by turning approaching into a full time job, and by filling their lives up with dozens of micro-relationships, they manage to fool themselves that girls like them now. And they do. But only for as long as it takes to figure out that they are boring. Roosh even admits this in various blog posts. The LDM crowd just isn’t honest enough with itself to follow suit.
This post doesn’t apply to people who are happy with their level of success with women. If you’ve only done 300 approaches in 2 years but are happy with the results of that, then there isn’t a problem. This post is aimed at people who aren’t happy with their success with women, moan about it on forums, keep saying they want to fix it, but then don’t take consistent action.
Of course there are other things to do in life other than fuck women. I don’t plan to focus on this area forever, which is why I moved away from my old blog, which purely focused on that. This year I’ve been more focused on career progress and have approached very little (with poor results, to be honest). For most of the rest of the year I will probably focus on daygame.
The main point of the post is that many people claim to want certain things (women, money, a great body), but are unwilling to prioritise what they say they want, as they don’t like (temporarily) cutting other things out of their life.
I do think that although most guys coming into the community view themselves as average (AFC), most of them are actually below average when it comes to interacting with women when they first enter the community. Take me for example. Yes I’ve slept with many times more women than the average man, but despite this I have a sneaky suspicion that something isn’t quite right about me, when compared to average men. I don’t think this is insecurity, I think there’s really something there. A coldness and a lack of sociability perhaps.
“The main point of the post is that many people claim to want certain things (women, money, a great body), but are unwilling to prioritise what they say they want, as they don’t like (temporarily) cutting other things out of their life.”
Which means that these other things are higher priority for them, so they are doing the right thing in not cutting them out.
Average people cannot have everything. They can have very few things, simply because they lack the genes and energy for everything. Whining is just an acknowledgement of the situation, and the internet is a great outlet for it.
Basically, even a Frankestein would get a 10 if he approached a billion women, simply because of statistics. But he wouldn’t be able to hold on to her. So people like Krauser and Torero, whom no 10 would ever seriously consider dating, spam approach for months and years until they (momentarily) land a 10, and then create for themselves the delusion (they call it “entitlement” and they have whole chapters in their books devoted to it) they they ACTUALLY DESERVE HER. And then of course the 6s and 7s THAT THEY REALLY DESERVE won’t satisfy them anymore, and the only solution is to keep spam approaching women for years and decades on end for those fleeting moments they manage to spend with the 9s and the 10s.
Exceptions are few, people like GLL who REALLY DO deserve 9s and 10s, and who indeed have them for long-term relationships. But for the most part, this is “successful PUA” mentality in a nutshell.
I don’t think the LDM guys claim to be fucking 9s and 10s if you read about their results. Also I think you’re wrong in your assumption that they don’t have LTRs. From what I know they date hot girls for months and even years sometimes, on a non exclusive basis. I don’t think the sarging is to keep a steady stream of girls because none of them stick, but more because they like sexual variety.
“Non-exclusive” relationships are not relationships, as far as I am concerned. You know who have non-exclusive relationships? Fags. But that’s another matter I guess.
There’s no way the LDM guys would be able to maintain a normal relationship with the kind of life they are living. They can’t even tell their girls what they do for a living for christsake. Yes, I know that they sometimes claim they can, but if so, the kind of girl who would stay with them after checking their blogs and videos is a retard. Most likely a 6 or a 7 too.
And ironically, this 24/7 approach life that they are living makes them even MORE boring than they otherwise would be. Consider that even MANY GIRLS lead more interesting lives than 24/7 PUAs. And girls’ lives are pathetic.
It is impossible for a truly hot girl to read about Krauser’s appalling approach stats and realize that all he does all day is get rejected on streetcorners, and remain attracted to him. Whoever thinks that a hot girl can continue being attracted to a man after she learns of this doesn’t understand hot girls.
You can’t be the “mysterious man” forever in a relationship. Within a month or so you have to start showing who you are. And a 24/7 PUA can never do that.
Consider that what Krauser and Torero were BEFORE becoming PUAs (finance guy and teacher respectively) is INFINITELY more attractive to girls than dudes who get rejected 100 times a week on streetcorners (aka PUAs). They turn themselves into approach machines to get their foot in the door with hot girls, but they erase from their lives the one thing (a true vocation) that would make them attractive partners to those same girls.
You say they do it for the “sexual variety”, and Krauser justifies it with his Z-selected bullshit (bullshit because, as I explained to him, if you produce no offspring you are not “selected” — you are EXTINCT), but I say that a lifestyle built on “sexual variety” is LAME and BORING, and HOT GIRLS KNOW THIS. It is only in the retardosphere that approaching 24/7 is cool: in the rest of the world it’s lame and unattractive.
I am not saying that 24/7 PUAs do not bring value into the world. They do, as do whores and prostitutes. That doesn’t mean that they deserve a great deal of respect, nor that they make attractive relationship partners.