After Action Report 25/04/2015 (2)

Type: Nightgame sarge

Situation: Large meat market club, bit of a cockfest

Results: 8/9 sets opened, 1 kiss close

What went well:

  • Reasonable number of approaches given how much of a cockfest it was
  • Was confident in most of my approaches

What went badly:

  • One 2 set hooked, but it was a ‘maybe’ set. The girl didn’t give me huge IOIs but wasn’t disinterested either, so I bailed. These sets are hard in a cub in full swing because it’s loud and everyone is dancing. This makes it hard to just stand there chatting. Need to move things forward and get physical quickly, which probably won’t work on maybe girls. Need a strategy to handle this.
  • The girl I K closed got dragged off by her friend, and I didn’t go for it again when I saw her latter. Lacking persistence here. In the past I’d go back later, maybe multiple times until I managed to isolate some how and either got her home or her number. Thing is she was the least attractive girl I approached (only a 6) so I couldn’t really be bothered.
  • Got a fair few quick blow outs. I’m not sure if these are no girls or I need to be more full on RSD style in my approaches. This isn’t really my style, I don’t know how easily I could switch to that, it’s very frat boy. Would love to take an RSD bootcamp to find out, but it’s $2000.
  • Conversation skills could be better early in sets. A bit more teasing / push to spike attraction.
  • I really need to project my voice more in clubs.

Action points:

  • Work out how best to move ‘maybe’ sets forward. Will probably involve a bit of push to ramp up attraction, followed by giving her an IOI to make it clearer I’m hitting on her, the hope being that she either gives me a red light (I eject), and amber light (I take a step back and try again later, green light (escalate or isolate).
  • Come up with some better conversational material / routines to act as filler between attempts to move sets forward. This will help me hang in there with maybe sets for longer.
  • Decide if I actually want a girl or not, and if so pursue vigorously for the SNL, or settle with the number. If she’s a 6 I need to make a snap judgement on whether or not I want to fuck her, and run with it.
  • Look into voice projection coaching. I think someone on the LSS offers this. This is a great investment in myself which I think goes beyond just club game.

After Action Report 25/04/2015 (1)

Type: Daygame sarge

Situation: Oxford Street, baby!

Results: 4 sets opened, 1 number close

What went well:

  • Getting much better with eye contact on opening now. Almost to the point where they are so transfixed that when they tell me they have to go they almost have to tear themselves away.
  • Much more confident when I do open

What went badly:

  • Only opened 4 sets, could have been closer to 10 in the time I was out
  • Spoke too much in the first set where I number closed. She wasn’t much of a talker, and I wanted to get her to talk more to invest.
  • One of my opens was really weak as it was logistically awkward (happens sometimes of Oxford Street)
  • Getting into a full and flowing conversation in the vibing phase is sometimes hard for me, and I end up firing out questions. Need to learn to thread conversations better. Goes hand in hand with above.
  • Assumption stacking a bit weak

Action points:

  • Really need to open about twice as often. This is my long term sticking point.
  • Need to get better at skilfully extracting information and emotions from a girl and weaving a flowing conversation around these responses. May come up with some practice exercises.

A Comfortable Mediocrity

The human body always fights to maintain homoeostasis. This is a scientific term which means “stays the same”. For example when your body temperature rises, your veins vasodilate (widen) to allow heat to leave the body. This is an attempt to bring the body back to it’s preferred temperature. To stay the same.

The human psyche is the same. Your brain often seems to fight hard to maintain the current lifestyle to which you have become accustomed. In one way this is good, as it means you will fight tooth and nail to stop yourself sliding down life’s ladder. On the flip side of this, it also means that something deep inside of you will fight your attempts to make your life better. This seems counter-intuitive, but it actually makes good evolutionary sense. The logic is that if you are surviving with your current lifestyle, then why risk jeopardising it by making changes. It is in this way that our DNA often drives us to remain mediocre.

This is a problem that plagues me. I live in a first world country, in one of the most vibrant cities in the world, where I have an income that is around 50% above the mean. Last year I fucked over 20 girls, some of which were really quite attractive. Most of my needs within Maslow’s hierarchy are met with ease. And there in lies the rub. My lifestyle is mediocre by many western standards, and yet it’s comfortable enough that my subconscious will fight any changes that may put it in jeopardy.

My lifestyle feels quite mediocre to me. I even feel a little trapped in my chosen career. I yearn to join the ranks of the top few percent of men, who earn at least a few times the average income, fuck hot women, and enjoy a high degree of freedom in terms of where they go in the world and when.

The only way out is to trick my brain. Most people, myself included can be very apathetic when it comes to being motivated by success. What I do have going for me, like most people, is a very healthy, and motivating, fear of failure. So that’s the trick. I have to make my brain believe that by not doing the things I need to do to make it into that top few percent. I spend a lot of time mind fucking myself. I have to make myself believe my life is a pathetic failure, a mess. Here are some of the things I often dwell on to the point of unhappiness and fear in order to motivate myself:

  • I’ve cut off all internet dating, and I no longer hit on girls less attractive than the top quality of girls I’ve fucked in the past. It’s my previous best or better. The result of this is that I’m not regularly getting laid at the moment. I’m going on dates with attractive girls, and unable to benefit from being better looking than them, I’m getting rejected. This makes me feel bad. It was just today that the sense of fear of losing my ability to get laid really bubbled up to the surface. This is driving me on to study up on game. To right After Action Reports to analyse what’s going on in an attempt to get better.
  • I let every little thing I don’t like about my job expand in my mind until it makes me feel a searing rage at having to work in an office for other people. Day after my brain is slowly internalizing the fact I’d be better off working for myself, and it’s pushing me to do what’s needed to get there.
  • Every day I imagine one of two possible futures for my chosen career. Either going into management, seeing my earnings rise but hating every day of having to be an office bound people pleaser. The other option is staying purely technical but no longer being able to get hired in 5 years time, and seeing my salary stagnate. As with above this drives me towards my own business.
  • I imagine what life will be like when I’m older if I’m not wealthy. I’m not planning to get married, so at the moment my future would be just me in a shitty little studio apartment in the UK not getting laid as I’m past it. This drives me to want to move abroad, make a ton of cash, and regularly fuck hot hookers when I’m too old to pull.

If you’re having difficulty achieving what you want it may well be lack of motivation. Just remember that fear and unhappiness will motivate you more than the joy of having your wildest dreams come true.

After Action Report 22/04/2015

Type: Day 2

Situation: Met a girl in a club 10 days ago, HB8. Isolated, kiss closed, got her number. After that she started playing hard to get so I left her to it and texted the next day. We went to a couple of bars for drinks.

Results: Nothing (I’d already K closed, doing it again doesn’t count)

What went well:

  • Improved body language since last date
  • Improved vocal tonality since last date
  • Conversation flowed easily, some good teasing

What went badly:

  • Got drunk
  • Spent too much money on cocktails
  • I was thrown by the fact she recoiled from my kiss attempt an hour in. Usually I’d be fine with this, but it threw me as it was in contrast to her making out with me passionately in the club. You can’t just start where you left off in the club. Due to this I feel like I spent the rest of the date chasing for makeouts. When I did get them she felt stiff, like she wasn’t into it, and instead of backing off I pushed forward, chasing the passion out of validation rather than lust. 60 years of challenge says there’s a big difference between escalating out of lust and out of a need to see if the  girl likes you (and they can sense this). I feel I really put the girl off by doing this.
  • The conversation was quite superficial, lacking the emotional content and connection that aids seduction

Action points:

  • Don’t drink so much on dates. This will save money and allow for better game
  • Have a conversational plan for a date that leads to more emotional content, and better setting up the correct male female polarity between us
  • Focus more on the frame of being the prize rather than chaser (some chasing is unavoidable), and protect the frame / my value over and above make outs and trying to move the girl forward.

After Action Report 19/04/2015

Type: Day 2

Situation: First date with a busty HB8 I had street stopped the previous week. The stop had been quick as she ended the interaction early, but I managed to get her number. She ignored me the first time I asked her out over text, but after some brief flirting came for the day 2. We went for tea in a coffee shop.

Results: Nothing

What went well:

  • Nothing. I got a hot girl out on a date, but that happened before the date.

What went badly:

  • Wasn’t particularly warm and welcoming when she first showed up. Could have smiled more and made better eye contact.
  • I think my voice was too quiet
  • Spoke and moved too quickly
  • Poor body language when sat down. Tried to do the slightly aloof leaning back body language Krauser recommends on this date, but just ended up awkwardly slouching.
  • Approval seeking and being apologetic. She didn’t like a comment I made about the coffee shop being a bit pokey (not enough space between the tables for my introverted liking). She really didn’t like it for some reason. This shouldn’t phase me but it did. It made me stutter a bit and try and explain myself.
  • In-congruent use of game material. Tried to make the comment I read in Day Game Mastery about seeing if she can drink tea like a proper English lady. This tease wasn’t in keeping with the vibe we had at that point. Plus she was half English and has lived her for years and so it didn’t really make sense. Using routines where they don’t fit is a classic noob mistake. She didn’t like it and again I got flustered and did the approval seeking
  • Didn’t really listen much to what she said about herself, as I had got too in my head at that point
  • I let her guide the conversation too much. We started talking about family and places we’d travelled too much (I’m not well travelled so this is bad for me). It was a bit pedestrian. I feel the conversation should be quite light and positive at this point, filed with casual observations about the things I like, and finding out what she likes.

Action points:

  • Greet girls warmly at the begining of a day 2. Take time for a little chit chat before walking to the date location. Have some conversation prepared for this stage. She needs to feel comfortable and like things are flowing.
  • Focus on speaking louder
  • Slow all of my speech and actions down
  • Have strong body language
  • Don’t get flustered if she responds negatively to something. Brush it off, move on

After Action Report 18/04/2015

Type: Night game sarge (club)

Situation: Night game in a large club that turned out to be a 75% male cockfest.

Results: Nothing from 5 approaches

What went well:

  • My later approaches were confident. Room for improvement, but I felt quite bold and masculine in the way I approached.

What went badly:

  • Could have done more approaches to build a better vibe, but to be fair it was a cockfest.
  • Gave up to early on one set because when I was holding her hand it went stiff (her hand not my cock), showing me that she wasn’t into it. Despite this, as I was about to leave she asked me a question, implying that the set had possibly hooked, but I answered quickly and left.
  • Failed to approach a girl who IOI’d me. To be fair I don’t think she was hot enough.
  • Failed to escalate a girl who I had very strong initial interest from. Should have mixed some taking in with the escalation. I used to be very good at dance floor escalation (there’s an art to doing it well), but my skills have atrophied. I think bad breath actually cost me this one. She said I smelled like I had just eaten a McDonald’s, then left me soon after. I have gum disease, and haven’t visited the dentist in a while, this could be why.

Action points:

  • Book hygenist on Monday to get cleaned under my gums
  • Approach more frequently
  • Don’t give up on sets that aren’t immediately all over me

After Action Reports

In an effort to ‘debug’ my game I am going to be writing After Action Reports on all my dates and sarges. These will be a bit like very brief, short hand versions of field reports. Field reports tend to be time consuming and dull to type out, so I’ll end up never doing them. The After Actions will cut to the chase and just focus on the key points which will help me improve. This means they probably won’t be that readable to you guys. That’s okay as they’re meant mainly for me. By typing them out and posting them online I’ll mentally process them more deeply. Feel free to skip them.

See all After Action Reports