Progress Update Q1 2015

As Q1 of 2015 draws to a close I thought I’d share my progress towards my goals with you, my dedicated readership of… about 10 people.

Just a reminder as to what my goals for this year were:

  1. Complete the 30 Days of Discipline Program
  2. Get a new job that both broadens my skill set and earns me £60k ($90k) a year
  3. Bang an 8
  4. Get 6 new daygame lays
  5. Save £10k ($15k)
  6. Learn to scuba dive

In a nutshell, I haven’t done well. I completed the 30 days of discipline program. I am better off for it as it has had the effect that I get a lot more productive work done in my spare time. Banging an 8 and getting my daygame lays in is something I haven’t planned to start till next quarter, so that’s not a big deal. The same with learning to scuba dive. I will book the course on June’s payday.

I have failed to get a new job, but it hasn’t been from lack of trying. I’ll just give you some more information on this. I am currently a backend web developer. Within the next 18 months I want to quit my salaried job and go contract. This will enable me to work 8 months of the year and still earn around the same as I do now, if not more. This is pretty vital to my future plans. Trouble is there doesn’t look like the London contract market will support 8 months of backend PHP development work per year at the day rates I would require. My solution to this is diversification. I have began to cross train as a frontend developer, which will triple the number of contracts I  could reasonably apply for. I already have experience in this area, and my individual training is going well. The problem is that in my current job I’m not getting enough of the all important ‘commercial’ experience which will enable me to get contract work in this role.

To get my commercial experience I have been applying for jobs that I believe will allow me to take on a hybrid frontend / backend role. This way I leverage the value of my backend skills and get my commercial experience in frontend skills at the same time. Only trouble is that such jobs are rare. People want either backend or frontend, not a hybrid of both. Recruiters keep sending me to interviews they say are for hybrid roles, but so far only three out of the seven interviews I’ve attended have been. This means more than half my interviews have been a waste of time. I have had some interest from some of these companies, getting to the final stage of interviews with everything looking positive, but I backed out because the jobs didn’t suit my plans. Of the 3 that were hybrid roles, I didn’t get any of the jobs. One was because I did badly in the interview. The other two came down to the fact that they thought I was used to a very different workflow / working environment. Although this was true of one of the companies (really wouldn’t want to work there), it was untrue of the other, so I’m surprised they rejected me for this reason.

I have decided to put the job hunt on hold for a while, for a few reasons. Firstly, I want to give it a while for some new jobs to come on the market. Secondly I can’t keep taking time off work for interviews. Lastly, I really want to start focusing on other things. For the past few months I’ve rarely been out, either running game or socialising. My time has been spent rehearsing interview answers, reading and writing code to keep my skills sharp. I find I can only focus on one major thing at a time, so focusing on game and career are mutually exclusive to me. I’ve only got one new notch this year so far, and I want pussy. I want to crack my day game and HB8 target. I will focus on going out and day game for the second quarter of the year.

My finances haven’t gone well. I splurged at the beginning of the year, leaving me behind. I have reeled in my spending this month, and hope to get even better at this throughout the rest of the year. I just need to get in the habit of saying no to myself. The problem with my saving target is that it was based around my salary increasing from a getting a new job, which is yet to happen.

The thing that disappoints me about all of this is that I’m yet to achieve anything that requires compliance from the world. I have got a little more disciplined and I’m improving my job skills, but these are all internal things. Battles with myself. This is yet to translate into me imposing my will onto the word and getting what I want from it (this is compliance). Krauser talks about this concept of gaining compliance from the world in one of his posts. It’s very important, as no matter how much compliance you can get from yourself you can never really achieve anything significant on your own and in a vacuum. Business success, building wealth, fucking hot women. These all require compliance from the world, and this is where I’m failing.

I’m getting really despondent about this. It’s making me sad. I actually believe this is a good thing. I have an idea of how I want my life to be in the future. It is very different from the life of the 9 to 5 worker bee chode. At the moment I’m not on track to get it, and I really can’t imagine a good future for myself without it. This feels a lot how I felt when starting game. It looked like I wasn’t making any progress. I thought of my future without any success with women and it terrified me. This is what motivated me to do the work needed to fuck the 60 odd women I have in the past 5 years. I feel this same fear now about my future career, and this motivates me greatly.

“When you’re going through hell, keep going”.

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5 thoughts on “Progress Update Q1 2015

  1. “This is yet to translate into me imposing my will onto the word and getting what I want from it (this is compliance).”

    This isn’t how it works. You shape the world by GIVING to it, not by taking what you want from it. If you really want to understand how this works, you have to read Nietzsche. Krauser’s ideas on this issue (as on all philosophical issues) are charlatanism, which makes sense considering he is a pick-up artists and not a philosopher.

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    • I’ll agree that “taking what I want” was probably not the best way of putting it. I just said it that way to emphasize the vigour with which I wish to pursue my desires.

      Of course it is all about giving. Not giving in a hippy / karma sort of way where you give without any expectations of getting anything in return. It’s a case of offering value and getting value in return. Life is a series of value exchanges. I want a certain job? I have to offer the employer value in terms of my skills. I want to fuck a girl? I have to offer her value in terms of charisma or looks. I want to make money from the public? I have to offer them a product or service they find valuable.

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      • The interpretation of the universe as a giant marketplace where everything takes place according to simplistic economic principles is a base and vulgar notion. It has a long history in Anglo-Saxon thought all the way back to the Utilitarians, but it’s simply not true. The great are great precisely because they give back far more than they take; precisely because no one can give back to them and wipe the debt out. In contrast, the decadents simply take; they simply consume without giving anything back. I mean, if you gave back in value exactly what you took, you would be worthless; you wouldn’t even exist. The value of your life, therefore, from the perspective of society, consists in precisely the SURPLUS that you produce; the surplus that you ARE. And that’s why I am saying that your blog is your real value, your real contribution to society and the universe, regardless of whether you feel it to be so. The lion isn’t thinking of lion cubs while it’s fucking the lioness either, it’s merely thinking of its erection, but that’s only because lions are shortsighted and dumb. Humans should be better than that.

        From The Will to Power 926:

        Against John Stuart Mill. — I abhor his vulgarity, which says: “What is right for one is fair for another”; “what you would not, etc., do not unto others”; which wants to establish all human intercourse on the basis of mutual services, so that every action appears as a kind of payment for something done to us. The presupposition here is ignoble in the lowest sense: here an equivalence of value between my actions and yours is presupposed; here the most personal value of an action is simply annulled (that which cannot be balanced or paid in any way–).

        “Reciprocity” is a piece of gross vulgarity; precisely that something I do may not and could not be done by another, that no balance is possible (–except in the most select sphere of “my equals”, inter pares–), that in a deeper sense one never gives back, because one is something unique and does only unique things–this fundamental conviction contains the cause of aristocratic segregation from the masses, because the masses believe in “equality” and consequently in equivalence and “reciprocity”.

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  2. This blog, for example, is how you shape the world. You give freely, and don’t expect anything back, and in the process you shape your readers, in one way or another. Of course, to write this blog you must eat, and since you don’t grow food yourself you have to take it from somewhere, but eating is the means and not the end. It is a prerequisite to you being able to give what you can give. What you are good at and that no one else can do. Food goes in you, and ideas go out: and the ideas are more valuable than the food, because you endowed the food with your unique essence.

    And it is the same with sex and women. They are merely the means: the end is the future (i.e. children).

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    • I’ll be honest about the intent of my blog… it isn’t written for the readers. I write it for myself.

      When we write our thoughts down we process them differently than if they just stay in our head. This allows us to solidify our thought process and look at things in a different way. The writing of our thoughts therefore allows us to internalize and understand our own ideas better, as well as more effectively solve any problems we may have by writing about them.

      Writing down our goals and publishing them makes us more likely to stick to them.

      These are the reasons I write this blog. I do it to help myself, not others. Don’t get me wrong though, if other people like it, it’s a huge bonus.

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