I’ve more or less been on a complete hiatus from game for the past 5 months. This time off has given me some time to reflect on my game, with an eye to improving it. With this in mind I was recently reading some of Daygame Mastery. I was reading about the ‘Investment’ stage of the model, and Krauser has this to say:
…spending too much time in attraction means trying too hard. She intuitively feels your lack of confidence and authenticity, which is an instant turn off
Here he describes how after the initial stages of a set you almost completely drop attraction material (teasing, challenging her all the time) to have a normal conversation. To fail to do so means you fall into the trap mentioned above, and ultimately blow a promising set.
Upon reading this it struck me that there is an important aspect of game that isn’t often talked about, and one I’m missing: changing gears.
Changing gears is when you change the way you interact with the girl. The example already given is dropping the attraction stuff and moving into rapport. Another would be moving out of rapport by sexualising the conversation. If you can’t change gears at the right time, two things will happen that will burn your set.
Firstly you’ll come across as very one dimensional, and the girl will get bored. Girls don’t like one trick ponies. I run into this problem a lot with attraction material. I love teasing girls and taking the piss out of them, so I do it a lot, probably too much. There have been times when girls have been initially very attracted to me when I’ve acted this way, only for her interest to fizzle as I keep on doing it for long periods of time.
The second problem is that a change of gears is required to move the set forward. Each set has a definite end goal (cock in pussy, in case you didn’t know), and you need momentum to keep moving through the stages of the courtship ritual to reach this. As an example lets take comfort. You’re in comfort with a girl. Talking pleasantly. Building rapport. This gives you happy feelz because a (hopefully) hot is talking to you and opening up to you. This is great, but if you want to have sex with her, then you need to move out of this phase at some point by escalating. I don’t care if you really like talking to her. And she’s really nice. And you’ve got soooo much in common. You can talk to her all you want after you’ve fucked her.
I’d say the most common failures to change gears are as follows:
- Getting stuck in attraction. As stated I’m guilty of this. Once she’s smiling, laughing and looking at you with big eyes don’t be afraid to move on by having a normal, boring conversation.
- Failing to escalate. Many guys are scared of a girl seeing their sexual intent, so never go sexual on them. This is a really good way to not get laid.
- Being too sexual. The exact opposite of point 2. This is also something I’m guilty of. Once I go sexual I often don’t change gears back into normal conversation. If you’re constantly escalating and being sexual you just come across as a horny dog trying to hump her leg, with no interest in her as a person. A good way to get around this is just think of adding sexuality to the set in terms of spikes. You drop in sexual spikes (e.g. I like your lips, very thick and full. it looks like they were designed to give blow jobs), then move immidately on to normal conversation. This allows you to maintain sexual tension without overdoing it.
Think of a set as a balancing act. You need to show the girl a balance of different aspects of your personality. Each one of this blend of personality traits will elicit a different emotion from the girl. The meet to lay journey is an emotional one for girls, and your going to have to stimulate all the right emotions if you’re to get to your destination. You do this by changing gears.