I recently had the misfortune to stumble across a Vice article on Seddit entitled, “How to Pick Up Girls (A Guide by Girls for Boys)“. Much of the Seddit debate on the issue focused around whether or not men should take dating advice from girls. My personal opinion on this is very simple. The only dating ‘advice’ you take from a woman is her reaction to your attempt to sleep with her. She sleeps with her, you did something right. If she didn’t then you (maybe) did something wrong. That wasn’t why I wanted to bring the article to your attention.

The article’s tone was at best patronising towards men, at worst out right demeaning towards us. This highlighted a wider issue. This is the double standard that women think they can dole out dating advice to men like manna from heaven, but if a guy was ever to honestly try and tell girls how to better appeal to guys, they would quickly be met my raised eyebrows, exasperated looks and even cries of misogyny. It seems that women get really offended if we try and tell them how to be and act in order to get men interested. Women also seem to think that they own the whole topic of sex, and don’t like men expressing their opinions in this regard. While this isn’t a major issue by any means, it irks me enough to write this article. So without further ado, here is my article on how women can better pickup (or rather be picked up by) men, in all it’s patronising misogynistic glory. It may be written slightly tongue in cheek, but it’s all based in truth.

1. You don’t have to do much. If you put in enough effort into your appearance, the guys should come to you. If the guys you really like never hit on you, you aren’t hot enough.

2. Smile and make eye contact with guys you like. This is an invitation to approach. If you can’t even manage this because you’re shy then you need to woman up and grow some ovaries. You won’t get the quality cock by being a total wallflower.

3. Put yourself on display. Like a mannequin in a shop window. Or a slab of meat in the butchers a man has to see you in order to approach you. Make your self visible and accessible. I’ve been to many London single nights where groups of woman have sat in tables in the corner with a big bottle of wine all night, making it really logistically hard for men to approach them. They no doubt end the night wondering why no men come and talk to them…

4. Don’t be fat. This is the one way, above all others, in which modern Western women really shoot themselves in the foot. It is hard to really hard to express in words the effect that excess body fat has on a woman’s attractiveness. Given that I’ll use pictures instead. Check these fit to fat images out. She goes from maybe a 7 / 8 to a 3 over the course of 100lbs. Even after about 20lbs she’s down to a 6.

A young (18 – 29) woman who puts a little care into her hair and make up will be very very attractive to the vast majority of men. Even if she doesn’t have the prettiest face ever (as long as it’s not verging on deformed) then a slim women will be able to give most guys a raging boner. This makes picking them up trivial; they’ll come to you, do all the work and even pay for everything on dates. Given the quantity and scope of work an average man will have to do on himself to be highly attractive to most women, you girls have it easy. Just don’t be fat. You had just one job girls…

I know it can seem hard sometimes. I do sympathise. Please bear in mind that I like food so much that the pleasure I derive from eating a good donner kebab is almost comparable to the pleasure I get from fucking a good looking woman. It can be hard to resist. There comes a point though, when I look in the mirror and my torso starts to look more blob shapped than V shaped. That’s the point when I know I’m going to be on an intermittent fasting diet for the next month. You don’t have to starve yourself. You don’t even have to go to the gym. Just learn the basics of nutrition and don’t consume more than 1800 calories a day for a while. This is not an anorexic diet. As a 210lb man I’ve done this for multiple weeks with no ill effects. It just means refined sugar (candy, starbucks, etc) and fried foods are off the menu.

5. Do your squats. Well lift weights in general, not just squats. No, you won’t start to look too muscular. Unless you make weight training the sole focus of your life your high levels of estrogen will ensure you never look too muscular or manly from lifting weights. This point is similar to number 4, but takes it one step further. If you can look boner inducingly attractive by just being slim, if you add muscle tone to the mix you’re going to be nigh on irresistible to many men (unless you have a really dog ugly face).

Not many women go to the gym I go to (sign of a good gym). Out of those who do, most do just cardio, some do weights as well. I have noticed that the ones who also do weights have significantly more attractive bodies than those who don’t. I mentioned squats explicitly for a reason. I’ve dated girls who are nice and slim due to lots of running. They are attractive but their bodies still lack exactly the right shape to be mind blowing. This is where squats come in. Unless you have brazillian DNA, running will keep you slim but you’ll get a flat ass. Squats will add some (firm) mass and shame to your ass, hips and thighs. This won’t be achieved with high reps and baby weights. I’d guess you need to work your way up to around a set of 10 reps with 80kgs. You need this to build muscle mass in your glutes (ass) muscles.

6. Let the man lead. Women always moan about how they want a real man. They want a man who will take the lead, and isn’t a pushover like most Western men these days have turned into. Despite this, when a man who can actually take the lead comes along, you fight him for dominance. If he sets up a date with you at a perfectly nice bar, don’t try and argue for a different one due to some minor point like they don’t have the exact Sauvignon Blanc you like. Let him lead, and be happy under his leadership. You can’t have too people with masculine polarity in one relationship.

7. Don’t be a cunt. I’m not taking now about being quite quick to dismiss a guy you aren’t interested in when he’s hitting on you. This is fine. You are under no obligation to talk to a stranger who tries to chat you up. Feel free to be cold and blunt in this situation. Truly confident men know the score and take the hint with no animosity towards you.

I’m taking about when you’re on a date with a guy. This implies you liked him at least enough to accept when he asked you out. Given this, acting in an abrasive, and frankly cunty manner towards him makes no sense. This isn’t the majority of girls, but still can happen surprisingly frequently. You don’t have to kiss his ass, but if you talk to him in such a way which a female friend would get annoyed at you for talking to her in that way, then you’re probably being cunty. Guys want a soft feminine personality in a girl, not abrasiveness.

An example from my personal life is that a girl I was on a date with called me a ‘manchild’ because I… had my own flat instead of sharing with other people, as many in London have to do for financial reasons. It isn’t just the ass backward logic of this statement that dumbfounded me, it was the bitchiness. As I said, it’s not the majority of women who are like this, but it is a significant minority. It’s almost exclusively late 20s / early 30s career girls. Maybe you can guess what my solution to this is.