Introduction To The Sigma Male Lifestyle Part 1: What Is A Sigma Male?

There are many pseudo science theories floating around the internet which claim to be able to categorize men into positions in a dominance hierarchy. I label these theories pseudo science out of a sense of academic honesty, rather than due to having disdain for them. These theories stem from observing animal societies, with some evolutionary biology thrown in for good measure.

I’m sure you’ve seen the basic hierarchy many times on the internet, but here it is again.

  1. Alpha males
  2. Beta males

The alpha males are more dominant and fewer in numbers than the betas. Since dominance implies the ability to get what one wants, alphas are the prefered mates for women due to the perceived benefits women derive from allying with them. This is of course an imperfect and simplified model. Some men are dominant in some situations, and not in others. The hierarchy can be pretty fluid, and shifts based upon the group of males within which an individual finds himself. To give an example a man who is dominant within his primary social group may be fairly submissive within a different group of more assertive men.

In most writing about male dominance this is where the discussion ends. Other people have, however, identified that certain men exist largely outside of this hierarchy. These men are:

  1. Sigma males
  2. Omega males

Unlike alphas and betas who are drawn to the social hierarchy, sigmas and omegas actively try and avoid it most of the time. They are loners. I’d say the two groups combined represent the minority of men. Maybe only 10%. The difference between omegas and sigmas is how the mainstream hierarchy reacts to them when they interact with it’s members.

Omegas are shunned by the hierarchy. They are the cliched basement dwelling, WOW playing neckbeards. They generally hold much  resentment towards those within the hierarchy and towards women. The way they dress, groom themselves and their poor social skills are what cause members of the hierarchy to instantly perceive them as low value. The are social outcasts.

Sigmas are generally well received by the hierarchy, and are often initially mistaken for alphas due to their confidence and good social skills. A sigmas social aloofness will often confuse people. People understand the fact omegas don’t seem to want to interact socially as it’s obvious they would be rejected as people won’t like them. On the flip side of this people often assume the sigma’s lack of socialising means the sigma doesn’t like them. The sigma comes across as always having somewhere else to be, or something better to be doing.

When it  comes to women, omegas are right at the bottom of the pile, but sigmas do pretty well. This is due to the fact they have alpha traits. Although sigmas generally don’t feel the need to dominate others, they are capable of it, and they strongly resist when anyone tries to dominate them. This coupled with the air of mystery they display due to their aloofness attracts the women. Girls will often say a sigma intrigues them.

Socialising isn’t the beginning and the end of it. Sigmas often see the world differently. They fight any hierarchy that tries to include them, for example a workplace hierarchy. To them, any attempt to bring them into a hierarchy feels like the borg are attempting to assimilate them. Their values are very much their own, and offer differ from mainstream values. They tend to go their own way as they feel what most others are doing is ineffective or undesirable. This means they will generally attempt to break free from the standard western male life path.

If you want to see some Hollywood archetypes of sigmas, read Krauser’s post on what a sigma male looks like.

My previous blog was entitled BetaToPua, but the truth is I misclassified myself as a beta. I have always fought to free myself from any social hierarchy that tried to assimilate me. In the past this resulted in me being an omega. I had no friends, was fat, dressed badly and lacked social skills. I was trying to become and alpha but soon realised that this path was not for me. I have no desire to be part of any hierarchy and no desire to dominate groups of men. I view leadership as a burden rather than a privilege. I’ve now slept with too many women to be and omega, but yet my journey to becoming a sigma is not yet complete. My current life trajectory is too much in keeping with what is expected of a beta male for this to be the case, and I’m still not adept enough at dealing with alphas who cross my path. Over the lifetime of the blog you will see this change.

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Progress Update

As a way of procrastinating from writing my series of introduction posts to this blog I’ve decided to give you all a quick update on my progress, as measured against the goals I’ve set for myself this year.

I’ve been focusing all of my mental energy, and much of my time on finding a new job. I’ve also been following the 30 Days of Discipline program. That program is actually helping me achieve my goal of getting a new job. It’s getting me more disciplined and freeing up my time. This leads to me doing more interview preparation.

The job hunt has been hard. This is not due to there being a lack of jobs on offer, but instead my salary expectations, the set of requirements I have for a job, and difficulty in getting time off for interviews. So far I’ve interviewed for 5 companies. With one I bombed, and another I didn’t have experience in very specific areas. I’ve got through to the final interview stage at three companies, but have declined in two of these cases, and I thought the job didn’t match my requirements. I have my final stage interview for the last company in 2 weeks time. The job has loads of benefits: great technology stack that will help me out when I go contract in the future, free lunch every day and it’s even walking distance from my flat. For the next two weeks the main focus of my life will be ensuring I get this job. My mornings before work will consist of getting up at 5am and practising writing algorithms and making sure I know the differences between MYISAM and INNODB. What fun.

The 30 Days of Discipline has been going ok. I’d say I’m sticking to it around 80%. After this month ends I’ll probably have another go at it and get it to 100%.

I haven’t been chasing women at all. I’ve fucked one girl who I’d already fucked last year, and got one number from a girl I would say was a 7.5 but it looks like a flake. This will probably be the first month in a long long time when I get no new lays. The truth is “working on yourself” doesn’t magically get you laid. You need to go out and game hard too, and I haven’t been doing that. I have come to realise that you only have the focus and mental energy to do one big thing in your life at a time (on top of your day job). This means women have to take a back seat for now.

In terms of trying to save money the year has got off to a bad start. Managed to spend hundreds on useless crap, meaning a big percentage of last years savings have gone. As soon as I get my new job I’m going to switch my focus to get into the habit of being a penny pinching scrooge. My default mindset will be to say no to anything that costs me money. That combined with the fact I’ve now finished paying off my student loan and a pay rise I should just about scrape 10k in savings this year.

My Goals For 2015

The difference between dreams and goals is the difference between wannabes and achievers. To that end I have decided to write out my 2015 goals before we move too far into the new year. I was planning to write my sigma manifesto series as outlined in my first post. This would tie in nicely as the last post in that series will detail how I think a sigma male should structure his life to best adapt to the modern world. My 2015 goals stem from that; they are waypoints that will help me get there. Since I have been busy working on my first two girls I haven’t had a chance to write that series yet, so tough. Here are my goals instead.

Goals

  1. Complete the 30 Days of Discipline Program
  2. Get a new job that both broadens my skill set and earns me £60k ($90k) a year
  3. Bang an 8
  4. Get 6 new daygame lays
  5. Save £10k ($15k)
  6. Learn to scuba dive

Let me explain the motivations behind my goals.

1. Complete the 30 Days of Discipline Program

One of the biggest benefits I got from learning game was actually developing a strong ability to ruthlessly introspect and discover my flaws (that and all the lovely, lovely vagina). This is very useful, and I think is something that the great unwashed lack. I’ve uncovered two main flaws. An introversion so strong that it makes me almost hate most social situations, and a lack of self discipline. Although both flaws hold me back in a myriad of ways, I feel discipline is the one I need to attack the most.

The dictionary defines discipline as follows:

the practice of training people to obey rules or a code of behaviour, using punishment to correct disobedience

Of course I’m talking about self discipline, rather than discipline imposed by others. I woud define self discipline as your ability to force yourself to do things that you don’t like doing in the short term, because you believe that there are long term benefits associated with doing these things. In other words it’s being willing to crawl through the shit to get to the gold.

I have come to believe that discipline is the cornerstone of achievement. Learning game required discipline. I had to force myself to do something I didn’t like (going out and cold approaching), in order to be able to get what I wanted in the future (pussy). I never thought I would get to the point where I was fucking new women so regularly, and often better than average looking ones too (well, sometimes). Although I had to make many changes to myself to achieve this, all these changes were powered by my self discipline in the pursuit of game. It was my discipline that made me keep going and trying new things till the legs started spreading. This got me thinking. If I never thought I’d be good at bedding women and discipline allowed me to achieve this to a standard well beyond that of the average man, what else that I thought would be impossible to me could I achieve with discipline? Successfully run my own business? Live a lifestyle vastly different to The Standard Western Male Life Path? Quite possibly.

I’m not going to go all Disney made for TV movie on you now and claim you can achieve anything. That would be bullshit. We have hard wired genetic limits on our achievements. As a 5″9′ 32 year old male, no matter how much discipline I put into achieving the goal of playing for the NBA, it isn’t going to happen. Having said that I believe that most people only reach a fraction of their genetic potential, mainly due to lack of discipline (and partly also due to not being able to see the world as it truly is).

I was disciplined in game because I am so highly motivated by pussy. I will not be so highly motivated in other areas. Even with game I could have pushed myself much harder (I should probably have opened 3 times the number of sets I have since I got into game). This means building up my discipline is very important. It’s a prerequisite to my future success.

To this end I have decided my starting point will be to follow Victor Pride’s 30 Days of Discipline program throughout January. Doing so won’t solve all of my discipline problems, but it will be a start.

2. Get a new job that both broadens my skill set and earns me £60k ($90k) a year

This is required for two reasons. First it will help me achieve my money saving goal. Secondly the broadening of my skills will help me when I become a contractor in the future (an important part of my long term plan). Since I’m being quite picky about the role and am asking for more money for a job that requires some skills that I haven’t quite mastered yet, this may take a while. I’m giving myself till the end of March to get this done.

3. Bang an 8

I’m almost at the point where I’d rather have a wank than fuck a girl worse than a 7. Even fucking 7s is leaning towards meh for me most of the time. Add to this that my sex drive seems to have plummeted in the past 2 months and this means I’m really only interested in quality (in terms of looks) when it comes to laying girls. I’ve done the quantity thing and am bored with it.

This is going to be a hard one. My looks alone cannot score me an 8, to my game has to massively improve to bridge the value gap. It will be a lot of work with a very delayed payoff. I can’t see even hitting double figure lays this year. A while back that would bother me, but I’ve fucked almost enough girls for my ego to not be too concerned with racking up the numbers anymore.

There’s zero chance this will happen with online game, it will have to be cold approach. Hundreds of sets at least. Daygame is a man’s best bet to punch above his weight in terms of looks, so I’ll focus on that. Which brings me nicely onto my next goal…

4. Get six new daygame lays

This doesn’t sound like much, but it’ll be a struggle. I got my first daygame lay last year, but that was around October. Since then I haven’t been practising at all (lack of discipline means I won’t brave London’s Arctic winter to do so…) and so when I get back on the horse I will likely have lost all the skills I learned last year, and my AA will be back. Tough but will give me some great opportunities.

5. Save £10k ($15k)

Required as a safety net before I go contract, and also to help condition me to a more minimalist lifestyle that will help me to achieve future goals. If I get a new job with the salary I want then this goal will be all about discipline, as I’ll be earning way more than I need to live.

6. Learn to scuba dive

I feel like my life has become all about chasing women and (procrastinating at) learning new job skills. This makes me very one dimensional. When I meet new people or go on dates with girls and talk about my life I feel this strongly. I just don’t do much except get laid. To this end I am including something fun and adventurous this year.

There we have it folks. I will of course keep you informed of my progress.

 

Introduction to the Sigma Male Lifestyle

Welcome to my new blog.

I am an early 30s male currently living in London. I was first introduced to the manosphere and red pill thinking around 5 years ago. This stemmed from the fact that at that time I suffered from involuntary celibacy. Unlike many who would whine about such a situation I decided to do something about it. This lead me to discover the online PUA community, and with it the manosphere.

Over the next 5 years I put the knowledge I gained online via the PUA community into practice as I applied the techniques I had learned on hundreds of girls. Theory is great, but until theory can be put into practice and shown to actually work, it is meaningless. Much of the red pill knowledge I had gained online passed this litmus test.

My success with women skyrocketed. In those 5 years I slept with more women than I ever though possible. In the first half of 2014 I slept with more women than I’d slept with in my entire life before learning about PUA (7).

Many people have spoken out against PUA tactics saying they are a lie and don’t work. These people are trying to reinforce the standard blue pill social narrative. Although some of the tactics aren’t as effective as their proponents make out, and outer game techniques won’t paper over the cracks for someone who is a fundamentally unattractive person, on the whole my experience has proven them to work. With each success I moved further and further away from mainstream society and the obviously incorrect social narrative it presented to me regarding male female interaction.

This all got me thinking. Male female relationships are the cornerstone of adult life. You meet a girl. Get married. Have kids. Buy a house. That’s then your life. Your marriage is the foundation of that life. if male female relationships aren’t what people in the mainstream thought they were (true love ever after), then your whole life would be built on a shaky foundation. This struck me as very dangerous.

The more I went down this path of independent thought, the more I saw a disconnect between the realities of modern life and what I was raised to believe life should be like. It gradually dawned on me that the standard western male life path was potentially ruinous for a man. The standard western male life path is as follows:

  1. Go to school
  2. Go to University
  3. Get a professional job, and pay into your state and private pension
  4. Meet a girl
  5. Marry girl
  6. Buy house with girl. The bigger the better. Also buy all of the standard accessories: cars, three piece suite with matching curtains and cushions, marble topped kitchen, patio furniture etc.
  7. Have a couple of kids
  8. Send kids to school and university
  9. Retire at 65 and be happy. Be more than comfortable thanks to those state and private pensions you’ve spent your entire life paying into. Maybe move somewhere hot, like spain.
  10. Die

Over a series of forthcoming posts I will present the forces that make this standard life path so dangerous to the modern man. I will define what I think the Sigma male is, and lay out what I believe is a template for a better life path for such a man. This is the life path that I will endeavour to follow over the coming years. The posts will be as follows:

  1. Introduction
  2. What is a Sigma Male?
  3. The Rise of Feminism, Equalism & Socialism
  4. The State of Gender Relations in The Modern Western World
  5. Economics
  6. Taking The Red Pill
  7. The Sigma Male life path

Throughout this series I present myself as neither expert nor teacher. I will simply convey what I have observed about the world, what I have learned from this, and how I intend on using this knowledge to make the best possible life choices. What you do with this information is up to you.

This blog will not be commercial in anyway.